WRONG MARRIAGE REASONS 1 – Lizzy Oyebola Oyekunle

WRONG MARRIAGE REASONS 1
THE PITY PARTY`
Written By: Lizzy Oyebola Oyekunle

An aura of darkness and sadness followed Sandra as she entered into the sitting room. She looked so quiet. The scarf on her head was distorted already- she had from work gone for choir rehearsals.

“Hey Sandra, aunty is here!” I announced in case she didn’t see me as she was headed for her room. She gave me a fake smile instantly and I got the chance to see the tears in her eyes.

As she started walking to my side, I could see how weak her legs were. They were so wobbly that I jumped up at once to help her into a chair. I sat beside her and she smiled again, a stain of rue in her perfect face.

“I got a proposal today.” She said and before I could ask if it was a business proposal or something, she continued “Dapo proposed to me today”

Who is Dapo?

Why should a marriage proposal weaken Sandra this much?

Many questions ran through my mind as I pulled her into a close embrace. I patted her severally, using the opportunity to ask the Holy Spirit for help in the situation.

“Why are you sad because of the proposal?” I asked after she had calmed down a bit.

“Aunty, I am not sad. I already told him yes. I told him instantly in case I come home and change my mind.” She said and I frowned slightly.

“You didn’t pray about it before giving the answer?”

“Dapo and I are kinda close. If he said he had heard God tell him that its me, so be it!” She said and my mouth was left ajar for a while.

“Really?” I asked when my mouth regained strength.

“Alright, so you gave him a ‘yes’ in case you get home and change your mind. Why?” I asked again. I wasn’t getting her point at all.

“Aunty, the thing is, when I met Dapo and we became a bit close, I had known that a day would come when he would propose to me. I knew it! What if knowing it is God’s way of telling me he is the one?” She said and I shook my head.

“You have not answered my question gal! Why did you think you would change your mind…” I was asking when tears started forming in her eyes again.

“I want to marry in the Will of God! I want to do God’s Will. I knew that if I left the question unaswered, I will want to weigh Dapo several times and he wouldn’t fit in. That was why I quickly gave him the answer that way.” She said and I nodded severally. She was getting there. I needed to get to the root of the matter. She had to say more.

“Don’t you love Dapo? You don’t?” I asked and she went blank for a while before nodding severally.

“I think I love him. He lost his parents at a young age, he lived with a ‘witchy’ aunty who molested him violently and he became so scared of living. In fact, it was at that time his best friend said ‘No’ to his proposal and he went totally insane. In fact, he said he was in a psychiatric hospital a whole month!” She continued and I was dumbfounded.

“Any sad news weakens him so much and I can tell that since he loves me so much, I shouldn’t allow him suffer the same way he had suffered” She seemed to have concluded her tale and I swallowed as I sat up well.

“And that’s love?” I asked and she nodded.

“Isn’t that love? Sometimes when he even calls at night to tell me he is scared of the dark and all, I wish I could go to his place and chase the fears away.” She said and I sincerely, I didn’t know when I started laughing hysterically.

“Fear chaser! My niece the fear chaser!” I kept repeating in my fit of laughter. When I calmed down, she was looking into my eyes questionably. I picked up her hands and looked into her eyes.

“Is that love or pity?” I asked and she looked lost.

“I don’t even know again.”

“When a lady is proposed to, there is this joy in her that she won’t even be able to explain. She is excited. Fine, it doesn’t happen all of the time but if you sincerely love this Dapo and his proposal has come, shouldn’t you be excited? Why are your legs weak, your eyes teary and your countenance sad? Why?” I asked and she nodded.

“I really don’t know what to do. What if I tell him ‘No’ and he iinjures himself then? What if?” She asked and I sighed.

“When I have tucked my children in at night and have bid my husband good night, let’s meet in the lobby upstairs to pray, say by 12am. We have to seriously tell God about everything.” I said and she smiled.

“I am so proud to have a godly aunty” She said and pecked me. I smiled and patted her back again.

“All will be well” I said.

________
I looked up at the clock again. It was 12.30am.

“Is this girl still sleeping?” I asked myself as I stood up, adjusting my hair net. It was so weird because whenever there was a prayer meeting in our house, Sandra was always the first to get to the meeting point. She wasn’t a deep sleeper at all.

I started descending the stairs so I could check her room when I started hearing a voice from her room.

“I am not going again! Drop me! Drop me! Are you a kidnapper? Let me come down!” The voice was screaming. I ran to the door, opened quietly and saw my niece covered with sweat on her bed.

She was obviously struggling as she threw her tightfisted hands in the air numerously, her legs interlocked, her eyes tightly closed.

She was obviously in a dream. I rested against the wall and waited for when she would come around.

“Lord Jesus, save me from this mess!” She screamed suddenly and almost at the same time, she sat up and pulled her knees to her chest. She was really panting.

“Sandra” I called at her and she jumped up suddenly like she had seen a ghost.

“Leave me alone. Leave me a…” she was about repeating when she seemed to recognize who was before her. She rested against the wall and I sat beside her, my arms round her shoulders.

“A dream?” I asked and she nodded. She fumbled with her hands for a while, looking so embarrassed.

“I must have scared you aunt” she said and I smiled.

“Not exactly my dear. Just talk to me. What happened in the dream?” I asked and she shivered at once. I knew the dream must have been really scary.

“Dapo and I were at the bus stop. A bus stopped and we hopped in. When I looked around me, I saw unfamiliar landscapes and I knew I was on a wrong bus. “Sir, I am going to Kano” I said to the conductor and everyone in the bus turned to look into my face like I was saying gibberish. “This bus is going to Akwa Ibom. Akwa Ibom!” the conductor screamed into my face again like I was a deaf person” She stopped then and held the back of her neck with her right hand.

“I faced Dapo questionably. “I am going to Akwa Ibom. Just go with me” He said. I was shocked. “I thought I told you I was going to Abuja and you equally agreed” I was almost shouting.” She paused again and picked her water bottle from the stool next to her. She gulped down some water like there were some obstacles in her throat, trying to stop her from talking.

“I kept screaming, “I am going to Abuja, not Akwa Ibom! Drop me! Drop me Driver!” but it looked like noone in the bus could hear me again. Dapo was looking unconcerned and when I kicked him to consciousness, he tied my mouth with a scarf. “I am going to Akwa Ibom, follow me!” It was scary aunty! Noone wanted to listen to me! Noone!” She had started crying again.

I pulled her into an embrace, feeling her hot, pulsating chest against mine.

“The Lord that answers by fire, He is my God, the Lord that answers by fire, He is my God!” I burst out singing.

“Aunty, its a bad dream and you are this happy?”

“My dear, God has done what no man can do. When I was in a fix, looking for how to tell you pity is not love, God showed it to you Himself! That’s obviously a revelation from the Lord my dear.” I said and she looked confused still.

“How?”

“See my daughter, when someone coerces you to accept their proposals, their friendships and all because they have this issues and that, and instead of love, you start enforcing some obligations on yourself to please them, you have to watch it!”

“I still don’t get!”

“Dapo told you so many things about himself and you as an emotional person got hooked to that, in fact, you didn’t even deem it fit to pray to God about the issue. You just got hooked like that and decided to say yes to him. That’s exactly what was shown you in the vision you had. You are leaving the path charted by God for you to follow a path charted by God for another person. In it, you found frustration, anger, sorrow, bondage as he even tied your mouth! The Will of God for you was left behind in the path leading to Abuja while you followed a path leading to Akwa-Ibom because of pity!”

“Are you for real! Like seriously!” She exclaimed and I smiled.

“That is why it is essential for a man to pray to God and listen to Him! The Lord will never fail His own!” I said and she smiled.

“I feel relieved, seriously. I just didn’t want to bother you when I came back yesterday. When Dapo asked me to wait and see him after the rehearsals, my heart started beating fast. In fact, my tongue went so bitter and I was sad. I didn’t know why but I was so crazy all through the rehearsals.” She explained and paused.

“When he brought the proposal, I decided to say ‘yes’ at least to see if I would be better but all through the journey home, my head ached. I just couldn’t imagine a future with Dapo. Aunty, its not like I have idols in my heart or something. At least, he is good looking, he has a good job now, he has a car, he has everything that would make me comfortable but I just couldn’t see myself with him! I felt like it would be a misfit but I couldn’t just place it. Now I know that getting hooked to him because I pity him will do both us a great harm than good.” She said and I smiled.

“When you marry out of pity, one, you have left the path of God and have chosen one yourself! Two, you will be full of regrets eventually when you realize how much you have missed, doing your own will! Also, you won’t love the person. Genuine love is true and it comes from the inside of you, from God. When you marry someone out of pity, the love can never be genuine!” I paused then.

“Wow! Great insights! Wow!” She kept exclaiming.

“Another thing is that, all through the marriage, you will feel like you are doing the other person a favour! You will feel like the person has a debt to repay all his/her life! You can imagine that kind of feeling!”

“Ah, I can’t even imagine aunty mi. See, thank God for you in my life, ah, I have always wanted your kind of marriage and with all you have explained to me and even the vision God has shown, I can never achieve that if I continue this way” She said and I blushed.

“Thank God for my marriage my dear. I didn’t love my husband when we first met. When he proposed to me however, I didn’t feel comfortable at first because I had someone else on my mind but I was excited that he saw me as a woman he could marry. So, as someone with the Spirit of God, I prayed and shortly after, I started loving my husband! Like, serious love ni ooo” I add some bits and she burst out laughing.

“The Holy Spirit is the Comforter, my dear Sandra. Stop doing His job for Him! Allow Him comfort the brokenhearted and the sick by Himself! Don’t force yourself into doing only what the Holy Spirit should do!”

“Thank you aunty….ah, but how do I tell Dapo I am not interested again now?” She asked, looking worried again.

“That’s a small issue my dear. First, let’s go on our knees and start praying” I said and she smiled excitedly as she tied her scarf.

Thank You Holy Spirit!

__________
It will be a pity when you pitifully pick a pitiful man out of his pity party and marry him because of that pity- you will always be on the brink of pity!- Lizzy Oyebola Oyekunle

WRONG MARRIAGE REASONS
#OpraDre

READ WRONG MARRIAGE REASONS 2 > HERE

Share To Inspire Others