MY PAINS Part 36
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE
I felt so heart broken, the more I kept on flashing back the more my fears and pains increased.
I thought of Miriam, i imagined where she was, may be on the road sleeping. I knew there was no way
she would go to her parent house. I took my new phone Ibrahim got for me to call her. We spoke on the
phone, she begged me asking me to forgive her, If Christ can forgive us our sins, who am I not to forgive
you, I told Miriam.
I transferred money to her, to rent a one room accommodation and I also sent money to her for her
upkeep. She thanked me so much.
Three days later she called me that she had gotten an accommodation, and she had also gotten a
cleaner job in a secondary school. She thanked me, encouraged me and prayed for me that I will find my
son.
Things were just becoming worst for me day by day as my pains increased more. I sat down everyday
crying, I hardly ate.
“What will you eat?” Ibrahim asked.
Am not hungry, I replied him as tears were rolling down my face.
“We will find our son, don’t cry. I don’t like to see you this way at all, we will find Ahmed, the police are
trying their best to investigate the matter.” He kept on encouraging me. He went out to get food in an
eatery, he forced me to eat as usual.
A month later, Johnson was still no where to be found, Ibrahim employed a maid to do the house
chores, as I was too depressed to do anything. She had come to serve me food one day when she saw
me crying..
“Madam, please don’t cry, God will bring back your son, noting is too late for God to do. I’m praying also
and I believe he will be back”, the maid said trying to encourage me also. I really liked her.
Sometimes in my dream I saw Johnson dead, sometimes I saw him alive, i will wake up and start crying
again, Ibrahim will be up consoling me till I managed to sleep back.
Anytime the maid served our food on the dining table, I do tell her to make it three, I will place Johnson
plate with food on the table beside his dad where he always sat down to eat, he wasn’t there but I do
feel like he was there, at this time I will start crying again flashing back to when we do eat happily as one
family. Ever since Johnson got lost, there was no more Joy in the house, I couldn’t even remember the
last time I smiled let alone of laughing.
One night I woke up and screamed.
“What happened? What’s wrong? Are you ok?” Ibrahim kept on asking me before I replied him.
I saw Johnson, in my dream dead again, I said.
He sighed.
“You believe he is dead, that’s what you think before you sleep, that’s why you are having such dreams.
Ahmed is alive ok and we will find him, I know”, he said petting me. He was right, what I thought of
before sleeping, was always what I dreamt off.
The police were still giving us negative reply.
I will always go to Johnson’s room, his things in his room will make me remember him the more, and the
more I did the more I broke down, the more my pains increased.
I was in his room one day crying and suddenly I couldn’t breath well, I was gasping for breath.
“What happened? Baby, please don’t leave me, please, don’t, Ibrahim said almost in tears.
He rushed me to the hospital, before i regained myself.
Two months later, we had almost given up. Things were not as they used to be again, ever since Johnson
was gone, there was no more Joy no matter how hard Ibrahim tried to cheer me up, I still remained cold
and quite.
I came out after a long time to mover around the house, I walked to back of the house, to the swimming
pool side to sit down. I saw one of Johnson’s car toy, i bent down to pick it, crying. The evening before
the harm robbers came, Johnson and I were sitting at the back of the house, I read a story to him, when
I was done he thanked me and went ahead to play with his toy car. That night was when the harm
robbers came. I flashed back to the last time I saw Johnson, I felt a hard pain in my chest, I laid down on
the ground crying. I felt pains the more, like it was just yesterday Johnson got missing. A thought came
to my mind that I should just jump into the swimming pool and commit suicide. I managed to gather
strength, i got up and walked to the swimming pool looking at the water, I turned back to look at
Johnson’s toy car again.
“Jump in”, my mind kept on telling me.
” Don’t!”, another part of me said.
I just felt like my life should end, as I couldn’t bear the pains of my missing child, my own blood. I heard
footsteps walking towards me, I turned to look.
“Have been looking for you. Please don’t do that please”, Ibrahim said as he walked up to me quickly
and held me.
Leave me, I cried out.
“Please, don’t leave me. Johnson is gone and now you also want to leave me, don’t do such, if not I will
end up committing suicide, Ibrahim said as tears rolled down from his face.
We both hugged each other, crying.
Four months and two weeks Johnson was still missing, any single hope of seeing him had died off
already. I accepted my fate, I was getting strong already. I was in my room one day sitting on my bed
when Ibrahim opened the door and came in. He told me what shocked me, I couldn’t believe it.
“There is something I want to tell you, he said.
Go ahead sweetheart, I said smiling, from the look of his face I could tell it was very serious.
“My mom wants me to marry another wife”, he said.
I don’t understand you, I said confused and surprised.
“My mom wants me to take another lady as my wife.”
And you want to? I asked him.
“Yes, I want to.”
You are joking right? Tears were almost rolling down my face.
“No, I’m not. But I haven’t seen her yet”, he said.
And you want to marry her? I asked him.
“My mom gave me her number, not up to a month, we had been chatting.”
What’s her name?
“Aliya”, Ibrahim said.
Oh she’s a Muslim, I said as tears rolled down my eyes. I couldn’t believe Ibrahim I loved, would be
leaving me for someone else.
Ibrahim, tell me you joking ok. You are hurting me already, I said weeping.
He showed me their chats, I still couldn’t believe.
“Don’t cry ok, please. I’m a Muslim I can marry more than one wife, I still love you”, he said as he placed
his hand on my shoulder, I removed his hand immediately in anger.
“Am a Muslim, I can marry more than one wife, I repeated Ibrahim’s statement in my mind crying, as I
flashed back to when we were still in the university, one evening we were together in his car going out,
we were talking about something when he Jokingly said…”I’m a Muslim, I can marry more than one
wife.” I wanted to confront him at the statement he made that day but I took it as a joke and we both
laughed over it.
I sighed. After all it was true, Ibrahim is a muslim he can marry more than one wife, I said In my mind
crying.
I wished I had never met him, my heart was totally shattered at that moment, my heart was more than
broken, I wish I had listened to my mom. I was beginning to understand why my mom was against me
marrying Ibrahim, i thought she only cared about her feelings and not mine but at that time I realized it
was my feelings she actually cared for. I wished i never loved Ibrahim, I wished I never listened to Joyce’s
advice that day she told me to go see him after a long time we departed.
Ibrahim came closer to me, I pushed him away, he left to the living room.
I sat down crying bitterly, trying to think if I did anything to hurt him.
After a while, I decided to go meet him in the living room. As I was coming down the stairs, he looked up
at me, he saw me crying and turned his face away to the movie he was watching. How hurt the more I
felt. Who I loved so much with all of me was treating me that way.
To be continued.
PART 37
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE
Please, I love you don’t treat me this way. What I have done to you? Tell me i promise to change.
Please, don’t do such to me, we made a promise we were going to fight through, no matter what comes
our way. If only you could feel how hurt i’m right now you won’t do this to me, I told him crying.
He didn’t say a word he kept on looking at me.
Ibrahim, please talk to me please. I’m sorry. I never cheated on you, i love you with all that’s in me.
Please don’t this to me, you are hurting me, you are breaking my heart, please.. I said crying.
“Have heard you. I’m sorry. I love her, he said.
Remember, you said you were destined to only have one child, which you didn’t even let me know till
later on and now you want to take another lady as your wife, I said, holding him crying and pleading.
“Fuck that. I want Aliya because I love her. Love conquers all, and if Aliya can’t have a child for me, we
will adopt one and i’m sure she will be happy with that. She loves me. She is not a murderer like you,
who tried to terminate our own son before he was born”, he said.
Ibrahim, i’m sorry. Don’t call me a murderer, please. I don’t know what came over me then. I love
Johnson he is my blood, even though he is lost now.
“I don’t have anything more to say”, he said.
Please, i love you if you do such I might end up committing suicide. I love you, I said crying.
He didn’t say a word.
Ibrahim, you suddenly just changed, what’s wrong with you? I can’t believe you the one saying all this, I
know something is wrong.
“Noting is wrong with me, i know what i’m doing”, Ibrahim said.
I kept mute for a while sobbing.
If you are taking Aliya because she’s a muslim, i’m ready to convert into a full muslim, I said crying
bitterly.
He removed my hands from him. “That is too late now”, he said walked away.
But we agreed religon won’t be a barrier between both of us.
I cried out, but he didn’t say a word.
I lost my one and beloved only child and son, i lost half of me. Ibrahim was getting another wife, my
pains at that time wasn’t something to be explained. I felt like dying.
Do you know how it feels like for your own child to be lost? Do you know how it feels like, for the one
you truly love with your heart to just leave you suddenly for someone else, someone you scarified all for
in the name of love, just suddenly changes and starts treating you bad. At that time if i closed my eyes, I
wished never open to open them again to see the world. I wished my own soul could just walk out of me
and go to rest, so i won’t feel not even a single pain again. Since Johnson my son was lost, death wasn’t
anything to me, I was ready for it. I felt the world was a wicked place to live.
Oh Lord! Why after my seventh day fasting to you all this started? I cried out but i got no reply. At that
time, i didn’t care questioning God, if he was to take my life, I was ready.
My mom was against my marriage she hated me because i married a muslim, Joyce betrayed me, my
son was lost, Ibrahim was about getting married to someone else. What was the essence of still living.
I flashed back to the family who accommodated me on that day rain was falling, they lived in love and
peace even as they were very poor i wished i had a family like that. What was the essence of enjoying
wealth, when I was living in pains, is there any word more than “pains” I would have used the word
instead.
At a time it was like Ibrahim had forgotten he had a child that was lost, and he acted like i wasn’t there
at all.
Only me enduring my pains, there was no one I could pour my heart to.
The first day Aliya came into the house, her mouth were wide open looking all around.
She cooked for him that day, they talked, watched movies before she left. I couldn’t stand seeing them
together, I just had to act like i was okay, but it was still obvious that I wasn’t.
She kept on visiting him.
At a time, Aliya finally packed few of her things into the house, as Ibrahim had wanted her to. She was
using the guest room. Aliya wasn’t that kind of lady that will want to push a man’s first wife away, she
respected me and treated me well, before she used anything in the house she would ask for my
permission, even the first day she cooked for him, she asked me first if she could use the kitchen. When
Ibrahim got to know she always took permission from me first, he warned her never to do such, that she
was free, the house belonged to both of them.
One evening I managed to go to church. When i returned i walked up to my room, as i was about to
open the door, i heard both of them talking.
I couldn’t believe it Aliya had moved into our main room, me and Ibrahim’s room.
I was surprised and dumbfounded. I sat down on the floor at the front of the door crying out my pains.
“But this you and your wife room. Won’t she be angry”, I heard Aliya ask Ibrahim.
“Yes, but you are now my wife to be, so this is now our room. She can use the guest room, or her son’s
room. I told you about Ahmed that got lost.”
“Yes, you did, but i am not yet your wife”, She said.
“C’mon baby don’t say that, I don’t like it.”
I pushed the door open, both of them were lying on the bed. Ibrahim held her closely to himself. Ailya
got up look at me, she was scared, may be she thought I was going to harm her. I took up courage to
speak, “it’s okay don’t be scared. You are his wife to be also, i said to her, acting like i was okay. I didn’t
want any trouble. I decided to act strong, but deep down in me was hurt, my heart was bleeding.
I packed my clothes and other of my things from the room that day to Johnson’s room. I wasn’t ready to
fight like other women would do. I knew fighting would change noting, but cause me more harm if I did.
I would have gone out there in world looking for Johnson, if I could see him, rather than fighting Ibrahim
over a woman.
It was all my fault I said to myself, as I has learned a lot and a lot of lessons. I knew that wasn’t the real
Ibrahim i married he loved me so much, but I didn’t know what happened. No matter how hard I tried to
figure it out, i couldn’t figure out why he changed.
I laid down on Johnson’s bed crying. The maid in the house came, advising me to be strong. She was a
woman in her 40s.
Ibrahim, never cared If i was there or not, in my presence he will hug and kiss her. He will take her out,
buy her a lot of expensive things. She made Ibrahim to start going to mosque regularly, they will go
together and return together.
I lived everyday crying in pains, it wasn’t easy for me at all.
It was a month Aliya had moved in.
One morning i woke up, i started to think of where to begin from.
I knew if i stayed longer, I would die of depression and no one would care. My life was left to me only. I
brushed my teeth, and managed to take my bath. It was time for me to be strong. I decided to go back
to my house i was living when I was still single. The house was built by my dad, after my NYSC my dad
gave me the house to be living, he sent the tenants away that year as they were owing him a rent of
almost three years. When I felt bored living alone then, I would go to my parents house and spend time
there. I packed all my things in my boxes, i packed Jonson’s own also. I carried each box down the stairs
carefully into my car. As I was packing, i heard Aliya ask Ibrahim why i was leaving.
“Have been wanting her to go, i didn’t just want to tell her because of all she had been through. We will
have the house all to ourselves now baby. Let her go”, I heard Ibrahim say. I wasn’t surprised, the way
he treated me had been a sign for me to leave, but I was just being patient, as they say one needs to be
patient in life, but I couldn’t be patient any longer, i had to move on and be strong.
When i was done packing, i was
about entering my car to leave, when Aliya approached me.
“Why are you leaving? Please don’t leave, she said.
I sighed.
“Did Ibrahim send you away?” she asked.
“Aliya, you can’t understand. Have been through a lot, i said as tears rolled down my face.
“I understand, but please don’t leave”, Aliya said.
Ibrahim’s reaction since had been a sign that he doesn’t want me again. You know what?
“What?” She asked curiously.
You and Ibrahim really make a perfect match, you both are muslims also, you will understand each other
better the more. I’m Christian. It was all my fault though, I said forcing a fake smile as tears were still
rolling down my face.
“But please, don’t still go” Aliya pleaded.
I sighed.
it’s time for me to be strong, i said.
The gateman and the maid, came also pleading on me that I shouldn’t leave, saying they don’t
understand why Ibrahim suddenly changed also.
I thought Ibrahim would come out and change his mind but he didn’t.
I just have to leave, i told them as I entered my car and drove off.
It was time to get over Ibrahim and be strong, I said in my mind as my tears kept on rolling down
without stopping. I didn’t know how i managed to drive, but i got to my house safely. I opened the gate
and drove in.
It’s time to be strong, i told myself again as I managed to fake a smile, crying bitterly.
To be continued.
PART 38
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE
When i got in, the house was very dusty i had to clean the place starting from the sitting room. When i
got to my room, i saw a picture of me and Ibrahim on my bed, i took the picture looking at it crying.
“Ibrahim doesn’t love you anymore. You have to get over him”, my mind told me. I destroyed the
picture completely, in pains and anger.
After i managed to clean the house, i packed all may boxes in.
After a while, i took out the clothes me and Ibrahim had together, anything that could remind me of him
and set the things on fire. As i felt the first stage to get over someone was to put away all that could
remind you of the person. As the things were burning, i flashed back to all the good times we had
together, i could not hold back my tears for once.
In the evening, i stood looking at my mirror, i looked so slim. ” You have to be strong”, I kept on telling
myself, as i cried.
Later, i went to get some food stuff. As i was returning, i saw a young couple with their little son, i
flashed back to when Ibrahim and i with Johnson do go out, tears started to roll down my face. When I
got home i managed to cook, i severed myself the food in plate, i couldn’t eat much, i had no appetite. I
pushed the plate away, crying. I checked my phone to see if Ibrahim called. You know how it feels like,
when someone you love treats you badly, but you still keep on checking your phone hoping to receive a
call or a message from that person, because you are still in love, even though you are hurt. There was no
missed call from him.
Truly, he is in love with Aliya, i told myself as my tears increased the more.
“Be strong”, my mind kept on telling me but my heart was bleeding.
“I will be strong”, I do tell myself, but it wasn’t easy. I deleted Ibrahim’s two numbers from my phone.
But i still knew it, i felt tempted to still type his number and dial it, but i didn’t.
The next day when i woke up, i prayed a short prayer of not more than two minutes. When i saw done, i
still laid on my bed, flashing back.
I disobeyed my mom now i am facing the consequences. Now it’s time for me to stand alone, i said to
myself, as I cried out. I managed to get out of bed, brushed my teeth and took my bath.
Where do I begin from? I asked myself, when my phone rang. I looked at my phone, it was Kazeem,
Ibrahim’s cousin that was calling me. I whipped off my tears and picked up the call.
Me: Hello.
Kazeem: Hello, how you doing?
Me: I’m okay.
Kazeem: Are you sure?
Me: it’s well.
Kazeem: I heard all that happened. I came to your house yesterday, Ibrahim told me.
Me: Yeah.
Kazeem: I’m really sorry. I understand how you feel now, loosing your son, Ibrahim getting married to
another lady, i know it’s really painful but please try and me strong.
Me: I’m trying.
Kazeem: Please, don’t cry, it’s well. I tried talking to Ibrahim but he didn’t listen to me. I talked to him so
much, yesterday.
Me: it’s well.
Kazeem: Take heart. Please, be strong. I just pray Ibrahim comes back to his right senses.
Me: I hope so too.
Kazeem: Because, i see no reason why a man in his right senses will send a beautiful, loving and respect
woman like you away.
Me: it’s okay, Ibrahim has made up his mind, it was all my fault.
Kazeem: Don’t cry, please. Noting, was your fault. All will be well.
Me: I hope so.
Kazeem: Don’t hope so, believe.
Me: Have heard you.
Kazeem: You are still crying.
Me: No
Kazeem: Stop lying, i can hear that through the phone. Where are you now?
Me: In my house.
Kazeem: No one is with you right now?
Me: No
Kazeem: That’s really bad, you need someone at your side at this time.
Me: Have got no one.
Kazeem: it’s well. You are still crying. Where are you now? I mean send me your house address, I will
come see you today.
Me: Ok, i will text it to you.
Kazeem: Alright, i’m expecting it. Don’t cry again, don’t think too much. All will be well.
Me: Thank you.
Kazeem: You don’t need to thank me. Shey oti jeun ni (Have you eaten?)
Me: No, have not.
Kazeem: This 9:09am, please try and take something.
Me: I will try.
Kazeem: Promise?
Me: yeah.
Kazeem: Don’t cry again, clean your tears please.
Me: Thank you so much.
Kazeem: You don’t need to. Take very good care of yourself, ok?
Me: Ok.
Kazeem: Bye for now.
Me: Bye.
Three hours later, kazeem arrived. He got me something to eat, when i refused to eat he fed me by
force. He tried to cheer me up, before he left at evening time.
“Oh Lord, grant Kazeem a good woman, he is really nice, nice people like him deserve nice people.
Unlike Ibrahim, i said in my mind that day as he left.
He never stopped calling everyday since then.
I cried so much all day no matter how hard i tried to be myself, no matter how hard kazeem tried to
console me i still broke down.
One morning, i decided not to sit at home crying. I took my bath and headed to my car to drive to my
boutique. I left my boutique in charge of people taking care of it for me. Ever since i lost Johnson, i had
not been there. My manager was really doing a great job, managing my business for me.
When i got there, my workers ran out happily to greet me, they were all happy, seeing me. I was nice to
them, they liked me so much.
“Madam, i like your car o”, one of my sales girl said.
I just smiled, if only she knew what i was passing through, what was the car to me when i had lost my
joy.
I wish i could be happy like you also, i told her. She was kind of shocked at my statement. If i could sell
my house, my car, give all i had to get back my son, i won’t even think twice before doing it, but money
couldn’t buy Joy. My state of depression was very high. If you had been in my position before you will
understand. I so much wished I had listened to my mom.
When i got in, went through the sales book, the records and all. I appreciated my workers and they
were all happy. I didn’t leave till 6pm that day.
That’s how I continued going to my boutique and returning in the evening. It wasn’t easy, but i was
trying to become strong.
To be continued.
PART 39
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE
I just returned home one evening, i was about opening my door when my phone rang. It was Kazeem, he
never forgot to call me.
Me: Hello.
Kazeem: Hello, how are you?
Me: I’m okay and you?
Kazeem: I’m very good. I guess you are back, how was work today?
Me: It was okay, i just got home.
Kazeem: Your voice still sounds down, when are you going to be strong?
Me: I am trying my best, thanks for always trying to cheer me up.
Kazeem: I think you going to work and coming back all day, isn’t helping you at all.
Me: It’s well, what else will i do na.
Kazeem: I suggest we go out, i want to take you out tomorrow. You need to move around, make friends
so you will get over all this quickly. You staying all alone isn’t helping, you know depression kills.
Me: Yeah, i know.
Kazeem: So what do you say? I don’t even need to ask you, get ready i’m coming to pick you by 11am
tomorrow.
Me: I’m not really in the mood to go out this days.
Me: That’s where you go again, that’s where the problem lies. C’mon you really need to move out. I’m
coming tomorrow.
Me: I understand you, thanks for your care.
Kazeem: it’s nothing. I know how caring and loving you were to my brother before he fucked up, and i
still respect you for that, such women like you deserve to be treated well. Have tried so much talking to
Ibrahim but don’t worry, all is well.
Me: Yeah.
Kazeem: Cheer up ok, what will you eat for dinner?
Me: I don’t know what to prepare, I will cook later.
Kazeem: You had better now what to cook now and make sure you eat well.
Me: Alright, have heard you.
Kazeem: Alright, take care.
Me: Yeah.
Kazeem: Bye.
Me:Bye.
I had no appetite to eat so i didn’t cook. I laid down on my bed crying. I missed Johnson so much and i
still loved Ibrahim, i never knew he could change.
I kept hoping may be he will call or message me one day but he never did, and it hurt me the more.
The next day, Kazeem arrived at 11:30am and took me out.
This an hotel, I said to Kazeem as he drove in.
“Yeah, i checked in here for about two months now”, kazeem said.
Why? I asked.
“We will talk about that later. We can eat, drink and talk in the hostel’s eatery.”
Oh, it has an eatery?
“Yeah, and there are many out door and indoor games we could play together. I really want to see you
happy again, you have suffered a lot.”
I sighed.
We both came down and he locked the car, he made sure the car was well locked.
“Come, let’s go in”, he said.
Have noticed you are so security conscious, i said to him.
“Yeah of course”, he said and smiled.
We got in and sat down, it was a table for two.
“So what would you love to take?” He asked me.
Am okay, i don’t have the appetite to take anything.
“There you go again, look at you looking so slim. C’mon you have got to take something” he said.
He made an order for food, drinks and snacks, for the both of us, in less than 10minutes, it was brought
to us.
Kazeem started eating.
“Won’t you eat?” he asked.
I told you i don’t have the appetite to eat now.
“You want me to feed you?”
No, i will eat later.
“Since you don’t want me to, then eat now.”
I managed to eat, i didn’t finish it. I drank half of the drink, i forced myself to, as I felt he would feel bad
if i didn’t eat or drink.
Am okay now, thanks, i said, pushing the plate of food aside.
“Good, at least you ate something.”
“Let’s take a picture” he said.
He took his phone.
I don’t feel like, i said.
He looked at me angrily, and i agreed. We both took pictures together.
“Let’s move to the bar”, Kazeem said.
We went together to the bar of the hotel, we both sat down, he ordered for an alcohol drink and a
cigarette. I watched him as he lit the cigarette. I wasn’t surprised, have seen Kazeem smoked many
times when he used to spend the weekends at Ibrahim’s house. When we weren’t married then, i spent
most the weekend at his house then.
“Would you love to?” He asked. Giving me a cigarette. I shifted back, i hated the smell of it.
(Laughing) I’m just joking, Kazeem said still laughing.
“You don’t drink alcohol too, do you?”
No, I don’t, i replied him.
He laughed.
You bought a house of your own then, why are you living in an hotel, i asked him.
“Yeah i did. You know i lost my job, after you and Ibrahim got married”, he said.
Yeah, i said as my mind flashed back to the day we got married, the day my mom wasn’t happy at all. My
countenance change and he noticed it.
” I’m sorry for reminding you, forgive me please.”
It’s okay, go ahead.
“When i lost my job ….. You know”, he said
Yeah i know. Ibrahim was the one supporting you with finance, i completed his statement.
He nodded his head.
“Yeah, after a while i met a group of friends, who introduced me to a business i’m still doing till now”, he
said smoking and drinking.
Wow, you must be really making a lot of money in the business.
“You think so?” He asked smiling.
Yeah, i replied and he laughed.
So what kind of business is that?
“We will talk about that later. Do you mind if we go play some games now?” He asked.
I don’t feel like, i said.
“It’s okay”, he said.
I took my phone and put on my data. I was scrolling through Instagram, when I saw Kazeem posted the
pictures we snapped together, i became angry.
“What’s wrong?” He asked when he noticed the anger on my face.
Why did you post the picture we both took together?
“Is there anything wrong with that?”
Of course, yes.
“How?”
“What do you want people to say if they see the picture, what do you want Ibrahim to say, sure he will
think we both have something to do together.
“Why do you care what people will say? Do we have anything to do together?”
Nooo…
“So?”
But….
“But what?”
I don’t like this at all.
“If it’s about what Ibrahim is going to say, let me show you something”, he said as he took his phone,
and unlocked it.
“Read those chats”, he said giving me his phone.
Tears rolled down my face as I read the chats. It was a chat between kazeem and Ibrahim. Kazeem told
Ibrahim how I was feeling and how I still loved him. He was begging him to change his mind and come
back to me but Ibrahim refused. What hurt the most was when Kazeem told Ibrahim he would be taking
me out to get over my depression state, Ibrahim replied him saying…
” Hey bro, you can take her anywhere you want to i'm done with her, you can make her yours if you wish to. I love Aliya"
I couldn’t control myself, i broke down crying in the public. That message hit my heart, i felt like i was
just heart broken that moment.
“I’m trying my best to make you happy and you are hurting me in return”, he said and took his phone
from me.
I’m sorry, i managed to say.
“Let’s go to my room please. All eyes are on us now” he said stretching his hand to mine.
Don’t touch me please, i said crying. I didn’t care if people were looking or not.
To be continued.
PART 40
MY PAINS
© PRINCESS MOTUNRAYO DUROJAIYE
“Why are you so hard like this? Let’s go now, Kazeem said.
I still sat down crying, recalling Ibrahim’s messages. It hurt me so much.
“It’s okay, i understand how you feel okay. Let’s go so you can rest”, Kazeem said using his hand to whip
my tears.
I removed his hand.
“What is it again?”
I want to be alone, please.
“There you just go again, look at yourself, you want to die because of a man that doesn’t love you
anymore.”
His last statement hurt me the more.
Enough of it please, i said to him.
“Have heard you. Can we go now? He asked stretching his hand to hold mine.
I pushed his hand away.
“What sort of character is this?”
Kazeem, i appreciate the fact you are trying your best to cheer me up, but please I want to be alone
now, i said crying.
“Wow, i see, i’m disturbing you right?”
You are not, please, i said to kazeem.
He was still persuading me, i got up angrily and left.
“You can go, we will still meet again, dear. Take care of yourself”, he said as i walked away angrily,
crying.
It wasn’t easy for me at all. I was living a single, lonely and depressed life. No matter how hard i tried to
be strong, i still broke down crying.
Later, i started attending a church not far from my house, my prayer was for God to make me happy. I
believed Johnson was dead already, i felt it was just meant to happen that way, may be it was my
punishment, and i am carrying the cross. I kept on praying for God to bring back Ibrahim to me, because
i still love him, you know how it feels when you love someone even upon how the person hurts you, you
still want such person.
Later i, summoned on courage to be strong, i stopped praying for God to bring him back. All i wanted at
that time, was to be happy.
After all, no man would love a lady like me who was once married and had a child before. If there was
any, it will be a man who was once married too with children, i thought to myself one night, crying.
One evening i returned from church, i was searching for something in my wardrobe, when I saw a
necklace, Ibrahim got for me then, i held it looking at it, i flashed back to the day he got it for me, how
happy we were then. I flashed back to Johnson also, i broke down crying. I started to sing…"Dependable, dependable God, It doesn't matter what comes my way you are still God, Intention, intention God, Everything is working upon my good
Is everything really working upon my good? I asked myself as i cried out bitterly, I was feeling the pains
again.
Some months later.
MY PAINS Part 36
#OpraDre
To be continued.
Drop your comment
Interesting, the suspense is killing