The Rapist Had No Bed! Maryam Giwa | Deep Short Story

The Rapist Had No Bed written By Maryam Giwa

I am facing the judge in court today and I am still not sorry, I was told by my lawyer that I would be charged for attempted murder or manslaughter but to be honest I won’t feel differently if it was murder. I need to let y’all know at this point that I am angry,very angry that he survived, he was supposed to die but they say he is in a coma… my soul died a long time ago, but this beast got a second chance

My mother is in tears and my father is worried, they asked questions like “Bamikale, why did you do it?” “ Bamikale, why have you chosen to disgrace me?” “My only child cannot go to prison, I am finished”…Yen Yen Yen, all this doesn’t matter to me and it is better they jail me because if I am set free, I might go and finish what I started and ensure he is truly dead.

My name is Bamikale, I am an only child of my parents and might have attempted to kill my cousin on his wedding day. The music was loud and we were all dancing, it seemed like the perfect most foolish time to commit murder but I needed everyone to know that I was the end of him, he broke me and everyone failed me.

My father wasn’t a rich man and neither was his brother so both of them lived in my grandfather’s large compound with their families and as an only child, I grew up with my cousins. My Uncle got an opportunity to go abroad when I was about 11years old,so he left with all his family members but left his last son, Dumininu who was 20years old and in University at the time. Their reason was that they wanted him to finish and bag his Bachelor’s degree  since he had just 2 years to finish, then he can join them for his masters.

Dumininu was in the care of my parents and his parents would always send us gifts and sometimes visit when they can which wasn’t a lot. My father soon got a job with the federal government and he had to move to another state while my mother stayed back to manage her trading business. Education was very important to my folks, so I wasn’t allowed to go to shop with my mother, I was scheduled to have evening classes and study sessions with Dumininu whose school wasn’t far from home.

Dumininu taught me a lot and honestly, I did better than my peers in school. He was my brother and I felt safe around him.Puberty came early for me, I remember when I started developing breasts, he called me to sit beside him and he fondled my breasts. I screamed in pain and he told me that I was becoming a woman and feelings like that needs to be pleasurable not painful. He even said I needed to train my mind to learn how to enjoy it else no man will ever be interested in me in future.

My mother had told me not to get close to any strange man that I would get pregnant, Dunmininu wasn’t a strange man so it meant nothing when he kissed me or played with my clitoris. It was all part of the lessons, he said I had to keep this one a secret and not tell my mum or friends in school as we need to surprise her how much I have learnt when she wants to teach me about sex  and my friend would be jealous I was ahead…I trusted him.

The first time and many times after that was very painful, I told him to stop but he didn’t. I was only a child and this wasn’t a subject I liked. One day on the playground, My friend started to talk about how her neighbour got raped by thieves. Her description was vivid and I knew whatever Dunmininu was doing wasn’t right.

I told my mum that night, she didn’t believe my dear Uncle Dumininu would do that to me. She felt my friends were giving me Ideas and I needed to stop moving with girls who already knew about sex.She never asked him and that made me very angry!

My dad came around when he was on leave, I managed to tell him too but he called my mum and Dunmininu for further clarification. As expected, he denied it and mentioned I wanted him gone because boys have started disturbing me and he told me to stay off them or he would report me.My father called me evil and ungrateful, that I wanted to destroy the bond between him and his brother and the reputation of my cousin who was very good to me.

I got the beating of life that day and the nullification of my truth empowered Dunmininu, he would have me wherever and whenever. There was a night he came to me while I was fetching water from the well, he had me and laughed as he rinsed his penis saying “Nobody will believe you, I own you and will have you as I please”. He got me pregnant and aborted them many times, I was just a girl in secondary school.

There was a time, I summoned courage and told my favorite aunty when she visited, she told me not to tell anyone and disgrace myself. She asked me to sleep and move around in covered clothes and stop seducing my cousin.I suffered and dare not speak about it to my friends or teachers, if my parents don’t believe me, no one would.

He moved out when I was in SS3 to join his family abroad but his stench stayed with me, I could feel him everywhere in the house and in every corner. I started withdrawing from people and would not let anyone come close to me.

I went away to University and was anti-social, I remembered when I was a happy innocent child but Dunmininu brought me sadness.

Few months ago, he and his family came home for his wedding. They lodged us all in a hotel and the night before he asked his sister to call me. I was reluctant but I went anyway..Maybe he was sorry and wanted to apologise.

I sat on the bed,  he came close and asked if I missed him, I tried to fight him away but he won again. I wanted an apology hoping I will be better but he did it again.

I watched him dance at his wedding reception with his glowing bride and my demons rose, Dunmininu doesn’t deserve to be happy, not after all he did to me. I went close to the Asun stand and borrowed a knife, I danced close to him and stabbed him.

I got arrested and today is my hearing…everyone kept asking for evidence or proof, the hotel has taken the sheets off for cleaning. They asked for time stamps and location of an abuse of many years ago…where do I start from for a RAPIST WHO HAD NO BED!

“This is the reality of a lot of victims of sexual abuse.Most of them never speak up and the few who summon the courage to; we begin to question their truth!

This is unfair to their bravery and decision to fight the pains of yesterday… It’s about time we stand with these victims, Today is not the day we stopped fighting”

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