JODA Episode 19
written by Amah’s Heart
Denis was charged to court, there was enough evidence to nail him,
the phone recording help a great deal, and also the house CCTV, he
couldn’t alter a word because he knew everything was working against
him, Even his lawyer was left speechless, he signed all the necessary
papers, including the divorce paper, i collected everything I put in his
name include the House and his car, he was stripe and tortured, at the
end Denis was sentence to 56years in prison with hard labour,
The Police where in search of Vanessa and she was later found, because she was an accomplice and she and Denis teamed up to drug me and also rob me off 10million, which he later return 5million, Vanessa was sentence to 4years in prison without bail.
After they were put behind bars I
wasn’t still myself, I cried everyday and I refuse to see any Man, even
Kuria, Binta was the only person I allowed close, I was constantly
visiting my father’s grave to beg for his forgiveness, I had a choice to
choose wisely but I chooses wrongly, I began to see meaning in the
dream I once had, that father suddenly appeared to stop the wedding
between me and Denis, I saw all the warning sign, I should have being
able to know something was not just right, I should have known but how
blinded in love I was, oblivious to things around me, I hated myself, I
don’t know how to forgive myself, I live in guilt and pain,
Binta was trying to console me but it did no good, I told Kuria to stay away, I don’t know how to love or trust another man, if Denis could turn out to be the devil himself then I should be careful with men,
I knew Kuria was coming everyday but stays down to talk with Binta and play with his daughter, Luella.
The sadness was too much, the fear, the pains and regrets was what I fed on for three months, I started mourning Fathers death all over, I wore mostly black dresses, guilt was eating at me, anytime I thought of Denis, killing my dad gradually without him even knowing, until he finally died of overdose, and I gladly fell in love and married a murderer, it was just too painful, I gradually started losing weight, I couldn’t take proper Care of Luella, Binta took over the motherhood thing from me, sometime she carries Luella down to meet Kuria who I banned from seeing me, they stayed there for hours, I like it More when there’s nobody to tell me to stop crying, i like to stare at an empty space and imagine how I messed up my own life, how it would have being if father was still alive, or Even mother, how easy it would have being if I wasn’t the only child, how pleasant if I have a family member close by, I felt so lonely and weak, father Left so much behind for me, I can’t even spend anything without guilt, it was his sweat I was lavishing on Denis, how could I do such a foolish thing? what could I have done without Binta who was practically my only companion, my only friend who turned out to be mean everything, Binta was my only family. I grew weaker everyday, I became flesh and bone, I started hating my house because it reminds me of Denis
“Joda, do you want to kill yourself, is this how you want to end up, your father will not forgive you if you cut off his lineage, you made a mistake, let’s thank God for his correction rod, God saved you from Denis because you are very important to him, show some gratitude to him for revealing this at his own time, stop beating yourself, your baby needs you, I need my Joda, and please stop punishing Kuria for Denis mistake, Kuria loves you and it hurt him every time you pushes him off and wouldn’t see him, Kuria is patient and he never stops praying for you, please see Kuria, he is going crazy Joda… Please.. I’m begging you snap out of this, please allow him in…please..
” Binta… Denis killed my father, I married the man that murdered My father, I don’t know how to live with myself… I…I…is just too painful Binta…
” I understand how painful it could be, stop eating yourself up, stop hurting yourself, please…time will heal all wound, you have to learn to forgive yourself, i know your father will love to see you bounce back, be a strong woman, let this build you up and not weakens you, you are saved just in time Joda, please stop punishing Kuria with the sins of Denis, Kuria truly loves you…I need my friend back, Luella wants her mummy back, God works perfectly well, he didn’t allow any offspring to come from Denis, he will spend almost all his life in a cell, he will die lonely and a sad Man, he will have regrets at the end but it will be too late because no time to correct his past mistake, he had opportunity to be better but he decided to sell his soul to the devil, God is still our judge… He will never allow the wicked to go unpunished, God fight for the weak and innocent, he fought for you and defended you from Denis, Denis is under the law and nothing could save him, except if God decides to have mercy on him, but I know the wicked will never go Scot free, even the law can’t save them if God opens their Case.. Get up and take away this black dress… is time to start another phrase…
Binta talks and I paid attention because God has used her to save me severally, she was smart and filled with wisdom, I got up but I was too weak to stand, i fell back to the bed, Binta shouted Kuria Who was carrying Luella downstairs to come he was up within a second, he handed Luella to Binta on seeing me, Binta told him to take to the hospital, he lifted me up, I was like a feather in his arm and rushed me to his car, Binta followed suit carrying Luella, I was rushed to the hospital where I was admitted, Kuria Sat beside me and held my hand while the doctor administer drugs and drips..
Within a month I was fine and Free to go home, I started working on recovering, Kuria and Binta did all they could to put Smile on my face, it felt so good having this two wonderful friends around, I cherished their company.
For the first time in 7months I laughed so hard from Kuria’s Joke, I started loving him all over again, and when we finally shared a deep kiss, it felt so good, he asked me why i never told him about Luella, he was sad that I kept such thing away from him, he deserved to know that i was carrying his child, I quickly apologized and explain my reasons,
Which he understood. I fell in love all over again with him. And thanked him for his loving patient.
Binta has a good news, she and James will be wedding in three months time, I was happy for her and told her not to bother about the expenses I will foot it all, she rejected my offer and said she and James have done a lot of savings towards the wedding which wasn’t a Big wedding, James will love to spend from his savings to make her proud, I understand Binta so I decide not to push further,
After a month of Binta’s Good news, Kuria asked me to marry him, I felt safe and loved but I couldn’t say yes immediately, I needed to make sure I was ready for another marriage, I didn’t want to hurt kuria because of my past, I wanted to be sure that I was healed from safe hurt, so I asked him to give me time, which he did, kuria was always patient with me and never rushes me up, and just within two weeks I know there was no better Man for me than Kuria,
Our wedding was on same month with Binta and James, since my wedding was a week before Binta, I begged her with a brown new car to Best me, she was so happy and was willing to hand me over to the Man that is meant for me, it wasn’t a big wedding like my previous but it was exactly what I wanted, our little daughter Luella was our ring bearer
After we were pronounced as husband and wife, I suddenly burst out crying because it took me lost, pain and a difficult journey to finally arrive at the right place, I felt God’s kind of love where I was, i imagined my father smiling down at me and saying “Joda, you finally did the Right thing… I’m so proud of you my daughter”…
THE FINAL EPISODE OF JODA.
9years has already gone by since I got married to Kuria, Kuria has
being an Angel, he isn’t perfect, some days we have misunderstanding,
when we can’t agree on one thing, but I assure it never passes that day,
I have never gone to bed sad because Kuria makes sure I’m always happy,
I always makes sure he does not go to bed sad, I love him too much to see him sad or worried,
We act More like friends, joking and laughing at ourselves, I’m glad I married my Friend, if i have to choose again, I will choose Kuria all over.
We are blessed with 3kids, Luella and her two brothers are one of my biggest blessing
After Binta’s wedding I gave her a surprised gift, the big house I once shared with Denis, was their weddings gift,
Kuria’s decoration on it grows finer everyday, but I feel so empty being in that House because it reminds me of my past, and because I didn’t want to sale the house I gave it to Binta and her husband, James.
i have being looking for a perfect Gift for Binta to show her how grateful and honored I was to have some body like her as a friend, friends like hers are rare to find, having her in my life has being a blessing, I came to a conclusion with Kuria and gave her the house, putting her name on it as the sole owner, she cried a bucketful of tears after I surprised her And her husband James, James thought it was a joke until my lawyer arrive with the papers and they signed as owners, it was the least I could do for her after she has being the only person I called a friend Who turn out to be more than a sister, God brought another friend, Kuria in to my life, who ended up being my husband and the father of my kids.
I live with Kuria in his beautiful warm
House, it wasn’t so big like my previous house but it was a home, Binta
had two kids within 9years,
after having her first child, a boy, she tried getting pregnant but it was difficult, there was a delay with her second children, she prayed to have just one again to make it two, I also joined her in praying, she prayed for a girl, and her girl came after seven years of birthing her first child, her Joy was full as she closes the chapter of birth,
We gather every weekend to eat one
of Kuria delicacy, which I have learnt almost all but mine never tastes
like Kuria, he had a magic hand that beautifies and add taste to
everything he touches,
Mera got engaged and Kuria acted like her father, he walked her down and handed her over to her husband, everybody got emotional, it was a beautiful sight to behold, I loved Mera like my sister, we showered her with a lot of gifts, she cried and hugged Kuria, thanking him for being a parent she never had, I was happy when I watch Kuria walk her down the aisle, I know someday he will also walk Luella down, handing her over to a good man like him, until then I will prepare my daughter to be every man’s dream, to be kind and loving.
Our kids are growing everyday in strength and wisdom, I joined hand
with him in saving the street kids, we did the Best we can because we
know that is impossible to save the world, we built an orphanage home
where most of them are kept and cared for by abled hands we employed,
it was a Big project indeed but I was glad to be making good use of the resources that I have, Kuria had a Big heart and he loved children, being his wife, the mother of his children and working with him was a great privilege I wouldn’t trade for anything, he was an Angel in human form.
We have visited his mother three times and she has flew down twice to see us, she has has being a blessing, she became the mother I never had, she was so loving like her son, oh before I forget she was beautiful inside out just like her son too.
Vanessa was out of
prison after 4years, she came begging for my forgiveness, she was
remorseful and regretted her past life and I totally forgave her, and
gave her a job in my father’s company for her to be able to start her
life all over, which won’t be easy after being behind bars for almost
five years, but I know she will be fine,
I visited my father’s grave with Kuria and the kids last month and I felt the need to go visit Denis and to let him know that I have forgiven him, I knew my father was a loving and very accommodating man, he wouldn’t want me to hold unforgiveness in my heart, it was time to be totally free, time to face the dreaded moment I have always being scared of,
Kuria asked me if I was sure of doing it, after he drove me down, I assured him again for the 4th time that day that I can do it, he waited for me at the parking slot, since it was my battle I will face it alone,
I waited at
the visitors hall until the wardens brought him out in chains, he didn’t
know who had come to seen him, because he hardly gets visitors, his
hair was turning White, his bears was growing all over his face, I guest
he hasn’t shaved for a very Long time, he was looking malnourished, he
looked too old more than his age, he has already spent 10 years in
prison, remaining 46years, I sat there looking at him and allowing
forgiveness and kindness to sulk me in, I kept the door of bitterness
shot, I knew I was doing the right thing, It wasn’t Binta or kuria that
told me to do this, I decided on my own, I made this decision, i will
stick to it no matter how it hurts,
Denis scanned with his eyes at the visitors seated who has come to see their love ones, I sat watching him look from face to face until his eyes settled on me, he blinks twice,wanting to make sure that I was the one, I was just seating and watching him, I wasn’t smiling, and I wasn’t wearing an angry look either, I was just neutral, he paused as he got closer and breathed deeply, before coming to sit opposite me,
no need to ask him how he was doing because I know how terrible a prison can be and it was obviously written on him, we kept quiet for sometime, his head was Bent and he later said
“Joda….You are the last person I expected to see here, I have being praying, i repented and turned a new leaf years back, I have being praying for so many years now for God to grant me another chance to plead for your forgiveness Joda, I never gave up asking and praying and I will totally understand God if he choose to ignore me, because I know I don’t deserve anything good, but on seeing you I knew God finally hard me, I don’t Care how many years I survive here before dying but I Will die peacefully knowing that I was able to see you and begged to be forgiven….. sorry is used frequently that we forget the importance of it, i misused the word” sorry ” I was evil and self centered, I know, I carried the weight of it right in my heart every day, I don’t deserve to be forgiven, I don’t deserve any thing at all from you, not even your presence here, I was greedy and became the devil Joda, I know my terrible deeds before I was Even sentenced, I know I deserve death, I suppose to be sentence to death but God gave me a chance to find my footing and opportunity to see you again after so many years, I lost count of years in here, you look good and happy too, I’m glad, God really got you Joda….forgive me please, give me this only thing I seek which is your forgiveness so that when I die I Will die knowing I finally made Peace with you, my soul and conscience will find Mercy… Please Joda….
I watched him, looking deeply at my
father’s killer, who tricked me into marrying him so that he can have
all that my father laboured for during his lifetime, but Denis has
changed, he wasn’t the same person any more, as tears drop from his
eyes, years has changed him, he was really sorry, my father used to love
him like the son he never had, until he begin to want More than my
father could offer, the things he wanted and killed to get are the same
thing he will leave behind when he dies, so why fight so much for what
you can not take along with you to the grave, tears gathered in my eyes
but i blinked it back, I kept on blinking back tears,
I held his hand urging him to look up at me, which he did, I smile and reassure him that I have already forgiven him before coming down to see him, all I wanted to do was to say it to his face,
He smiled and breathed deeply again, before saying thank you, we talk a little while before the Police guards came and took him away,
I stood, watching him go, he turned back again and muttered a silent”thank you ” I smile and nodded before they locked the iron door, i finally heaped a sigh of relief before walking out,
I felt this inner fulfilment and Joy, as I came out of the prison Yard I sprayed out my hands wide and look in to the sky and said thank you to the invisible being up there, who has always seeing me through
Sometimes forgiveness does More good to
the Victim, than with the offender, I felt so good, I forgave myself
before being able to forgive others, it was a long process for me,
gradually I did it.
I was feeling proud and I know Father Will be More proud,
As I entered the car, Kuria who has being waiting for me, asked me how it went, I smiled and hugged him, he held me like he has done for years, I allowed all the tears I held back to flow,
Everyone deserves a companion like Kuria and a true friend like Binta, with this two kind of people who will love and guide you through life, you Will always have reasons to smile.
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