I’m in shock. I can’t laugh. I can’t cry. ?
This morning on my way out, I encountered two women.
Bread sellers. One fat. One slim.
Let’s call them Fat Joe and Slim Shady.
They were fighting at the junction.
“Useless woman! I dey beat men o. I nor be ordinary person. Ask my husband.” Fat Joe screamed.
” Madam, anything you feel say you carry, I carry am raise to power 10! No shaking.” Slim Shady countered.
Gradually, the exchange of words became serious.
Yet, nobody intervened, well except one man. I later learnt he was a pastor. Their pastor.
He runs a small church on my street.
Pastor begged both women to stop fighting.
They were both his members.
Fat Joe thanked pastor for his divine intervention, and acted like she was about leaving.
Guess what? Immediately pastor let down his guard, she jumped Slim Shady. Just as she was about landing her a life changing slap, Slim Shady dodged, and the slap landed on pastor’s face.
Pastor was dazed. Rapture ti shele.?
Slim Shady got angry and was like: Witch! You don slap my man of God abi? I go teach you lesson today. ” With that she took off in the direction of a nearby Carpenter’s shop.
“Papa, sorry, you hear?” Fat Joe begged pastor.
Obviously embarrassed pastor kept quiet. He only focused on nursing his fluffy violated cheeks back to vitality.
While he was at it, Slim Shady reappeared out of the Carpenter’s shop, bearing a huge plank.
Fat Joe laughed. ” If them born your generation well, make that thing touch me! I go divide you into two!” She screamed like a Warlord.
Slim Shady who obviously didn’t have time for too much talk immediately stretched the plank in her direction.
Guess what? With the speed of light, Fat Joe bent down like a potential Jet Li.
Again, the plank landed on pastor’s head and this time?
People, pastor fainted. ?
Written by Penocrat Ayomide Ugonna.
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