PLEASE READ THIS IF YOU DESIRE A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE
written by Allison Hyacintho
One night, I sent a very sensitive photo to one of the WAR whatsapp prayer groups I mentor. It was a picture of a skinny lady wearing bombshorts, and ofcourse, her tighs were revealing and the lady’s bombom was shooting out very well.
But wait, I can see the look in your eyes like “eheeeennn? Uncle Uncle, I knew it, it’s in you like peak milk.” ???? rest first.
What really happened was I wanted to send the fine photo to aunty Choco, it was really late at night, about 11pm or thereabout, and I was halfway asleep when I saw the picture on facebook and clicked the share button, aunty was the last person I had chatted with so with sleepy eyes I sent it to the WhatsApp group thinking I was sending it to her, heheheheh, the caption I wrote along with the photo writes, “Choco this bomb will fit you well, it will shoot your bombom out.” ?????? see what sleepy eyes can cause.
I cannot tell you the kind of reactions I got from my mentees in the group. What even made it weird was the fact that I had just led a prayer session there an hour ago. So sending that kind of a sensitive photo to the group, hmmmmm, It’s one kind.
But guess what? I didn’t apologise. Nope, I didn’t. The caption I wrote on the photo is enough to say that I intended to send it to my baby gey, not to the group. And the lady wearing the bomb is not my concern, my interest is the bombshort I was planning to order from AliExpress for aunty.
See, I’m sharing this to let everyone know that my marriage, and my spouse, is twice as important to me as my ministry. One will not, and can never suffer for the other. I will make it EXTREMELY compulsory for anyone to call me with a good prior notice before coming over to our house, and this includes our parents too. If you want to come visit me without notice no problem, you are free, as a coach and mentor my house is open to everyone, but if you come and see aunty Choco walking around the room in bombshorts and Gstring, don’t shout! If you shout I will baptize you, ?????? Some of us are not planning to have a boring religious marriage, I am a husband to a wife who needs my love and attention as much as I am a minister called to service.
Wifey will walk around the house naked, when it is time to read our Bible we will read our Bible very well. When it is time to mount the pulpit we will wear our suits very well and multiply the kingdom of God, a good healthy marriage is a blend of the two.
Some ministers have boring marriages, some don’t enjoy their marriage at all because they is no privacy, even in their home. As one church member is leaving pastors house another one is coming for counselling, assistant pastors don’t even know the difference between their own house and pastors house anymore, 24hours somebody is there with them, either to serve pastor or for prayer meeting. We cannot walk around our own house naked in peace, we cannot quarrel about random stuff in peace, me that love to sing loudly in the shower with my crooked voice, so I will not be able to be free because I have to comport myself at all times cos people are round, I have to be a perfect minister at the pul-pit and at my pul-home. I cannot even play Michael Bolton or Lionel Richie songs in my house because of church members, every minute Sinach and Chioma Jesus, Lai lai I no do that one abeg, everyone stay in your house, my wife and I will serve ourselves, thank you so much you are welcome. If you want to tell me anything come to the office. Even at the office sef if you like don’t knock and wait patiently for me to ask you to come in, you will see something.
There are married couples who have never made love in the kitchen or the dinning area, some have never even tried sex on the couch or the balcony, because there are hardly alone together. Some don’t know what sex in the shower feels like, I’m not just talking about couples in ministry now, some married folks cannot moan judiciously in their own house during love making, husband will use one hand to close his wife’s mouth so she will not cry loud, because Mom is sleeping in the next room, and she’s been living with them for a year and has refused to leave. Or an associate pastor came over for prayer meeting, and that can be so embarrassing.
Look guys, what I am saying is, your marriage is a very important ministry that plays by a different set of ministry rules, separate from the requirements of your calling, don’t mix the two up, please I beg you, don’t do it. The rules of a Ludo game is very different from the rules of a card game, I hope you are getting this? Give your marriage what your marriage needs to grow, and one of the chief requirements of a happy marriage is privacy, privacy to be married, privacy to Express yourselves around each other, privacy to enjoy your imperfections together as one.
Okay yea, back to the cute bomb short I saw on AliExpress, I already ordered it for aunty, but she is yet to start displaying her true colour because God has not blown our whistle piiiiiiiiiiimmmmmmmm! By the time He does, I will not shout halleluyah like Daddy Adeboye, I will shout AREA SCATTER!!!!!???????
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Wow, this really need to spread all over the world. Many people think marriage is a place to have children and once that is achieved, they forget about ‘they have a wife’, they have forgotten we ladies need our man’s attention. Once he pays attention to us and satisfy us physically, emotionally, spiritually etc, there will be peace in the house, some men find it hard to buy underwear for their wife,even to hug her outside is a crime for them. They believe once they have children, their wife doesn’t need anything again. God bless you sir for this story,… Read more »
Some families are always fond of visiting the couples, it’s so annoying and once they come, they won’t feel like leaving.
Most times it’s best fit for couples to come up with a plan so those people can leave them in peace ??.
Sir…… My marriage cannot be dull o, lailai.
We would make it sumptuously and superfluous each seconds