Blemished Love Episode 20 – Loudest Thoughts
After a second of no sound he looked back at his wife and because the light in the room was off he couldn’t see if she could move.
When there was no sign of moving he hurriedly rushed to the bed side and shook her up in a heartbeat.
His heart was racing when Grissel didn’t say a word. ‘What did I do?’ He lamented regrettably.
‘Tom you nearly ki…lled me.’ She said innocently after two seconds of silence and rubbed the sleep off her face to be sure it was him.
‘Thank God.’ He murmured to himself and dropped back on the floor with a heavy sigh. Tom was relieved he didn’t go overboard.
‘Love are you drunk?’ Grissel asked curiously with a frown. ‘You could have killed me with th…….’
‘Shut your mouth Grissel,’ He snarled cutting her off.
‘I should shut up when you just tried to ki*ll me.’ Grissel complained still at her sleeping position.
‘You deserve it Grissel.’
He tried to look back at her but he changed his mind as his eyes were already puffy. As if he didn’t want Grissel to find out he was crying. Tom quickly pulled the side of the sheet on the bed where he sat and wiped his face gently.
‘Okay, that’s new.’ She said holding on to her throat with tears marking her cheeks.
Tom had the pillow he tried using to suffocate his wife earlier in between his legs and lost in his thoughts.
Grissel turned on the bed side lamp.
‘Turn that off. I don’t want to see your lying face.’ He glared at her while she turned off the light.
His thunderous voice jerked her out of her own thoughts too.
‘Is this about me not calling you or picking you up.’
In as much as he wants to hear her side of the story, he couldn’t help it but nearly became what he had been working on for years.
‘T..om.’
‘Don’t Tom me?’
‘Alright I’m Sorry. How was your trip?’ She turned off the light.
Tom heaved a sign of pain and glanced at his wife in the dark. The stray lights from the window brightened her face. She looked so innocent sitting on the bed. Tom thought for a while and took off his gaze.
‘Are you married Grissel?’ He finally asked.
‘What? Of course we are married.’ She wasn’t sure where he was going with that.
‘Do you have kids?’
Grissel’s heart jumped into her stomach this time. She felt her past crawling up to her.
She was quiet and kept stealing glances with her face down.
‘I will ask again. Were you married before you met me?’
Grissel became pale all of a sudden and shook her head before realizing Tom probably can’t see her nodding.
She knew it was time to talk so she turned on the light and pulled her bedside drawer. Without a word she handed Tom a file.
‘I asked you a question not a file.’ He snarled again when her hand hit him and he turned around to find her handing him a file.
‘I know but just read it.’ She said calmly. ‘There’s a pen in there you can decide our fate after you read.’
Tom glared at her and saw the tears running down her cheeks. He wasn’t sure if he was supposed to care so he opened the file and scanned through.
‘I don’t want anything else, just your signature.’ She further said.
Tom growled. ‘So it’s true. Grissel you have killed me.’ He clasped his head with his hands tightly.
She panicked and coiled back against the bedpost. ‘I tho..ught I was doi..ng t..he r..ight thing.’ She stuttered.
‘The right thing you say?’ What happened to our vows?’ He raged.
‘Forgive me Tom.’ She muttered when she realized she had nothing else to say.
‘How dare you guilt trip me with your sorry stunts?’ He continued to yell. ‘What do I tell my family?’ Julia had so much trust in you.’
‘She a..lread..y f..ound out.’ She mumbled.
‘OMG, where did I go wrong with you? Was it wrong to love you this much?’ Tom’s anger was out of place and Grissel was constantly moving away from him.
‘Tom please…….’ She covered her ears with her hands to keep his thunderous voice out of her head.
‘Please what? You are sorry? I should forgive you?’ What do you take me for?’ He kept yelling non-stop.
‘You ne…ver yelle…d at me Tom.’ She finally said after there was a few seconds of silence.
‘And I would do that again if you don’t start talking.’ He hit his hand on the bed with his eyes glowing with rage. Grissel knew that moment her husband wasn’t joking.
She cleared her throat. ‘Tom I didn’t mean to hurt you.’
‘So it just happened? For Christ sake Grissel, this is marriage not some child’s play.’
‘You think I don’t know that?’ She cried. ‘Tom I don’t know what you’ve heard but I..…’
‘If you dare lie to me again, I would become what you feared most.’ He interrupted angrily.
Grissel shifted away uncomfortably. ‘I never lied to you, I only didn’t want to involve you in my mess.’
Tom glared at her and couldn’t stand her tears. He tried to stand up and realized Grissel was scared of him. He breathed heavily and sat back probably to figure out how to make her talk.
‘I’m hurt Grissel but I’m also already involved so start talking before I smack your face.’ He decided to go soft on her.
‘What difference would it make considering you tried to strangle me even when you haven’t heard my side of the story?
‘You are married Grissel and it’s not funny.’ He raised his voice at her again.
‘I know, that is why I need you to sign the annulment papers and we are done here.’
Tom picked the file from where he dropped it earlier.
He flipped it page by page as he obviously wasn’t making any heads way with her.
Tom was tempted to sign but paused and swallowed the bitterness in his throat. ‘Why should I sign when we aren’t even married in the first place?’
“We are married Tom.”
He wiped his face and went mute for two minutes. ‘You said earlier, I haven’t heard your side of the story.’
She nodded wiping her eyes with the sheets.
‘My other marriage was true but I don’t think you want to carry that cross.’ She quickly said to avoid him raising his voice at her.
‘You won’t do this to me again.’ He scowled. ‘Ever since I knew you, you always seem to run away from your mess.’
‘I’m not running away Tom, I just feel whatever we have right now is over so there’s no point telling you.’
Tom looked at her for a second and calmed down. ‘You know why I’m being calm here when you obviously deserve to be thrown out?’
‘You still love me.’ She responded.
‘You don’t deserve my love anymore so what I need now is to understand what is going on.’ He yelled this time scattering the files on the floor.
Grissel realized he was trying his best to contain the situation and she on the other hand doesn’t have anything to lose either. She closed her eyes for a while and opened it.
‘Okay.’ She sobbed.
‘Lisa warned me and i didn’t listen.’ He kept hissing and muttering.
‘Tom you should know I never loved you less.’
‘You call this love? A love that hurts.’
‘Tom, I tried?’
‘Well you should have tried harder.’ He tried to get up but sat down again.
‘You remember I told you I wasn’t an angel and you said whatever i wasn’t willing to share you can..’
‘Wait.’
‘What?’ She sounded confused.
‘You were going to push the blame on me?’
‘No, that wasn’t my attention Tom.’ She said weakly with a sad tone.
‘It’s okay, I know I told you I could wait until you were ready.’ He concluded.
‘You remember that?’ She asked with a little excitement.
‘Of course I do, that was the time we had our first kiss.’ Tom hadn’t noticed he was calm.
‘I was going to tell you but somehow I just wanted to forget my past and move on because I was tired of leaving with my shadows.’
Tom picked himself from the floor and sat on the bed. He saw the pain in her eyes and it broke his heart.
Grissel examined her husband and realized he wasn’t angry anymore. He was handling the whole truth better than she imagined.
“Love” She called soothingly.
Grissel was hoping he wouldn’t yell again hearing her call him Love.
Tom turned and faced her. She held his hands briefly but he let go.
“Please forgive me, I know it won’t fix things this time but I’m ready to open up now.”
Tom looked at her, bitterness filling his throat. He was struggling to be himself at the same time he was hurting.
“I should have just told you why I was holding back when we first met. ‘ She swallowed hard. ‘Trust me, I didn’t want you to find out on your own.’
‘On my own or you didn’t want me to find out at all.’ Tom was surprised he was calm and able to look into her eyes now.
“I can’t promise to make this right for us but I love you.” She wasn’t sure what she was blabbing anymore as her mind was roaming with millions of thoughts.
‘Grissel, you don’t get it. There’s no us anymore.’ He swallowed hard.
‘I can understand and I won’t stop you. Just sign the papers.’ It was hard for her to even mutter that. Grissel doesn’t want to lose Tom but she also knew he has suffered too much.
He glanced at her with so much pain registered on his face. Tom saw her eyes filled with tears and he hates to see her cry.
‘So that is it. You give up when trouble comes your way.’ He found himself asking after a minute of silence.
‘I don’t want to give up on us Tom but if that is what you want, I can leave because I’ve done enough damage to our marriage already.’ Grissel cried once more.
He closed his eyes after trying several times to look into her face that moment she was crying but he just couldn’t bring himself to watching her cry.
‘Is this marriage even legal Grissel?’ He managed not to raise his voice.
‘Yes, it is.’ She said quivering.
Tom stood up and left the room without another word. He went downstairs and fetched her a drink.
“Love?” He called out without anger this time. Seems like he remembered why he came back home in the first place.
Grissel raised up her head from the bed and he handed her the drink.
‘I think you would need this if you are going to open up an old wound.’
‘Thank you Tom.’ She was surprised how he quickly changed his demeanor and then wiped her face with the back of her hands.
She took the glass of Vodka with shaky hands and gulped the drink in the glass at once.
‘Easy, I have more here if you want.’ He raised the bottle of Vodka in the air.
‘Great,’ she dropped the glass on the bed and coiled pulling the sheets to cover herself.
For a whole five minutes nobody spoke. Grissel’s brain was hot and Tom was just staring at her playing with her eyes.
‘So what really happened to you that you hate yourself and your children?’
‘Children?’ She opened her eyes as she kept closing and opening it earlier.
‘Yes, your husband gave me a file which said you bore him twins.’
‘So he was the one who reached out to you.’ She snarled.
‘Yeah, few minutes after we spoke this morning.’
She let out a sad sigh. ‘He was right but I’m not so sure if he told you I was responsible for the other child’s demise.’
‘You lost another child?’ As if he forgot about the happenings earlier, he reached out for her hands which were quivering. For some reason he was being calm.
She sighed heavily and frowned.
‘He was five months and I left them both at the back of my car seat and went for a party with Ella.’
‘Ella?’ Tom was obviously not sure he was up for this. He picked up the bottle on the floor and opened it.
He shook the bottle and gulped the content and offered the rest to his wife.
‘Here, you will need more of this.’
Grissel grabbed the bottle and gulped down.
‘You mean Stella Medt.’
She nodded.’ I reached out to her online when I got admission and was told by the school council she was going to be my roommate.
‘You two knew each other before you got here?’
‘Yeah, just online for a year but we eventually met when I got to the school.’ She smirked.
‘So you were friends?’
‘More than friends until that night in Connecticut.’
‘The night you lost your child?’
‘Yeah, she just disappeared while her brother locked me up in York state penitentiary for a whole seven months.’
‘I’m sorry.’ He wiped his own face.
‘Don’t feel sorry for me because I deserved it. I let this happen to me.’
‘Yes you did and have paid with your entire life for the past years. You locked it up and moved on Grissel.’
‘I did but it seems I’m going to lose everything all over again once he finds me.’
‘But I’m here with you Grissel. He would have to go through me.’
‘Tom were you even listening to me.’
‘I am listening to you and it doesn’t matter when you don’t owe him anything.’
‘I killed his son and that is something a father doesn’t come out of easily.’
‘But I also lost a child with you but we worked it out.’
‘A child you didn’t know existed.’ She frowned. ‘I’m sure that kind of pain is different.’
‘That’s rather unfortunate but it was an accident.’
‘An avoidable one Tom. I was young and married. But I wanted to have fun as well.’
‘It wasn’t a crime to want to have fun after nine months with a big belly and finally giving birth to two human beings. That must have been a lot to carry.’
‘Don’t feel pity for me Tom.’
‘I’m not but you were wrong to have left your young children in a car alone.’
She sighed heavily and tapped her forehead.
‘They were not alone. Stella got someone else to be with them as we didn’t want their nanny’s to snitch on us.’ She swallowed hard. ‘She left them alone to come find us when they were crying.’
Tom hit his head hard. ‘Why did you marry someone like that when you knew he was that strict?’
‘I loved him and I thought he loved me too until I killed his child.’
‘Grissel but that wasn’t your fault if you got someone to look after them.’
‘It was since they were my responsibility and I should have made sure they were fine and unharmed instead I went to one useless party to drink. Tell me who does that?’ She was fuming with tears rolling down her face.
‘Calm down. I still think you were wrongfully blamed.’
‘No one believed me, not the police nor the father of my children whom I loved back then. It took Andre who came visiting a client at the prison.’
‘Andre? Now I understand why you don’t skip work. You owe him your life.’
‘More than that. I paid every penny he spent on me since he met me at York, got me out and paid my fees to start my law school here in Seattle until Jessy and Adam took me in.’
‘And Andre didn’t touch you?’ He suddenly asked.
‘Touch me? How?’
‘You know what I mean Grissel.’ He gave her a weird look.
‘Really, that’s what you could think of right now?’
‘Don’t blame me, you are beautiful so I just want to be sure I don’t have two men to deal with.’
‘Andre was a God sent.’
‘Don’t tell me he is the second Christ we’ve been waiting for.’ Tom found himself making a joke.
She smacked him gently. ‘He just happened to be in a fix and as a first year law student who shouldn’t know half the things I knew back in York I gave him clues to a case I overheard him struggling with when he came to visit his client and he decided to help me so I wouldn’t waste my talent in there.’
‘You still haven’t answered my question.’
‘No, he never for once made advances. He was married and as I said earlier I just had to pay back with working at his firm.’
Tom sighed and smiled.
‘So Stella introduced you to this man.’ He further asked after a few seconds.
‘They were inseparable cousins until I came in between them. When I was sent to jail I heard she left town until the day we met at the ice-cream shop.’
‘Then I’m guessing you two have a lot to talk about.’
‘We don’t because I’m done with that family though she was helpful at the last minute getting his brother to annul the marriage, I don’t want anything to do with them anymore.’
‘Stella got him to annul your marriage?’
‘Yes, he didn’t want us annulling the marriage as punishment for what I did to our kids but with the help of Andre and Adam that night before our wedding I understood Stella made him sign the annulment papers.’
‘It all makes sense now. I mean why Clive saw you with him and your mood during the wedding and after.’
‘Clive?’ She thought about the incident that morning then brushed the thought of how he would react to it off quickly.
‘Yeah, the friend you don’t like.’
‘He was just comforting me when it seemed I won finally. Andre has been a part of my life from the beginning and a week to my wedding, I knew I had to tell someone so I chose Adam who did so well finding Stella.’
‘You could have trusted me and I wouldn’t hesitate waiting until you get your divorce.’
‘I would be doing your sister a favor and I didn’t want her mocking me all my life. I was hurting Tom and not knowing if I was going to end up your wife the next day was eating me up.’
‘Was that part of the reason why you were so lost in church?’
‘I was confused from the previous night and praying he doesn’t show up.’
‘And I took that out on you.’ He muttered regrettably.
‘That’s okay, you couldn’t have known and I equally was at fault.’ She clarified.
‘I’m so sorry Grissel, you went through all these so young, alone and naive on a foreign land and here I was yelling at you.’
‘I’ve put all that behind me and moved on with you.’
‘Come here,’ He pulled her into his arms. Grissel hesitated for a second and released herself into his warm arms.
‘Tom, if you leave me I don’t think I can continue living.’ She said softly and painfully.
He pulled her out of his arms quickly. ‘Don’t say that. Your daughter would still need you.’
Tom took off his gaze as he knew it was a sensitive topic and Grissel shifted herself to the far end of the bed.
‘What for Tom? I would just ruin her life besides I’m not sure if I ever want to see her.’
‘Grissel you are hurting, I get that but we need to face this man so you can properly move on.’
‘I don’t want to. After you let me go I would relocate again.’
‘Who said I’m letting you go?’ He asked shifting closer to her again.
‘You are not?’ She asked with a surprise tone.
‘After I met with your ex-husband this morning i was devasted but I remembered Stella said something when we met her at that ice-cream shop.’
‘You married a good one.’
‘Exactly, I asked her if she was sure after your ex-husband left.’
‘If she told you everything why did you make me talk about it again.’ She frowned.
‘She didn’t Grissel. When I asked her what she meant this morning, she smiled and repeated the same thing.’
‘That’ sounds like my Ella. She always got my back.’
‘I nearly stayed back but I knew he must have reached out to you.’ Tom stared at her. And I was worried about you.’
‘So you came home after that to ki*ll me.’
‘I had no idea what came over me but then I remembered you wanted to tell me about your past when we met.’
Tom skipped the whole prayer part because his wife would make it her life mission to laugh at him.
‘How you felt that moment was exactly how my ex felt when he lost his son by the hands of the woman he loved and I completely understood him when he left me to rot in jail and denied me my other child.’
‘You still love him?’
Grissel paused for some seconds.
‘No, he was my first but now just a memory I want to forget.’
‘And your daughter?’
‘Tom please, Shirley belongs to her dad.’
‘That’s a nice name.’ He smiled holding his hands up to his cheeks when he noticed she wasn’t comfortable talking about her daughter.
‘Shirley is my mom’s middle name.’
He gasped as if he just remembered something. ‘Does your mom know about any of these?’
‘No, she would have killed me before our paths even crossed.’
He laughed all of a sudden. ‘That’s funny. If she had killed you, I wouldn’t have met you Grissel.’
‘Maybe my ghost.’ She replied.
‘I know you don’t want to talk about Shirley but she’s a part of your life and if we are going to give our marriage another chance you need to let me in.’
She sighed and swallowed hard. ‘Shirley is fine where she is Tom. I don’t want my presence to confuse her.’
‘I love you Grissel and this changes nothing.’ He assured her holding her hands giving up on the Shirley topic.
‘Once he finds me, he will destroy me.’ She announced worriedly.
‘We still got each other and that is enough.’
‘You say that as if it’s easy.’ She said sadly.
‘I’m sure if he wanted to torment you he wouldn’t have come to me.’
‘Tom, he called me when you were away. I turned off my phone the whole week.’
‘I guess he was behind that wrong number Mike wasn’t able to trace.’
‘Yeah, and coming to you was to make you leave me after you found out.’
‘Well he failed, I love you now more than I ever did.’
‘How is that even possible after all I kept from you?’
‘Coming to think of it, I wouldn’t have told you about it if I were faced with those circumstances so I understand.’
‘I wished Amy had kept your child, it would’ve been easier to understand why you are forgiving me so easily.’ Grissel was in deep thoughts.
‘You think too much Grissel. I love you and that’s not going away anytime soon.’
‘I’m sure it’s just lust. It would blow over soon and you would come to terms with betrayal and the pain.
He drew closer and planted a kiss on her forehead. ‘I’m not your ex-husband to hold on to grudges for long.’
‘Tom you don’t forgive that easily, I saw what you did to that poor girl.’ Grissel forced a smile. ‘And then there’s your sister you haven’t forgiven yet.’
‘I was all that before but our prayers together has changed me.’
Grissel laughed quietly now. ‘I live in this house with you and I remember praying alone all the time while you snore.’
‘Okay, then your prayers are working.’ He quickly said.
‘Tom I won’t let you trade your happiness for me. I can’t forgive myself knowing that you are unhappy.’
He shook his head as he doesn’t know how best to convince her. ‘Do you still remember my vows that we wrote together?’
‘Yes, they were just words which I ruined that day. Can’t you see everywhere i go, things don’t work out.’
‘Don’t say that Grissel? We were both two imperfect beings bonded together. Our marriage wasn’t a mistake.’
She grinned with a sob. ‘You just stole the third line of my vows.’
‘I’m glad you noticed so let’s hold on to the vows.’ He tried to smile but had to force it. ‘We can make this work Grissel.’
‘You sure about this?’ She stopped crying now and the vodka seemed to be kicking in. Grissel knew she wouldn’t win that evening. Her head was already spinning as she had a million thoughts going through her mind.
‘You probably don’t understand how I could possibly let an issue as big as this go easily but trust me, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking on my way back.’ He clarified.
‘So you decided to stay with a woman with another man’s child?’
‘What’s so wrong about that Grissel?’
‘Tom, this was one of the things you hate.’
He scratched his head. ‘I know but I don’t want to lose you Grissel.’
‘And I can’t watch you compromise all the time.’
‘Marriage is about sacrifice and if this is the sacrifice I have to make then so be it besides Shirley wouldn’t be staying with us so whatever my reservations were are not necessary now.’
Grissel gave out a slight sound. ‘Hmmm.’
Tom understood her concern. ‘I know someday you might want to have your daughter with you and that’s fine too.’ He managed to say and saw a grin appear on his wife’s face.
‘I hope you would still be in this bed when I wake up in the morning.’ She said finally wiping the stray tears on her cheeks.
‘You know what, let’s drink up and get some rest. Tomorrow is another day for us to figure this out.’ He felt waves of heat burning him. Then he remembered he was still in his attire. Tom pulled off his red shirt, leaving his chest bare.
She stared at his chest. ‘You run out of underwear or Ella stole them.’
‘Oh this,’ he pointed to his chest, ‘I forgot to put one on as I wasn’t in my right mind this morning.’
‘I understand you.’ She said staring at his chest smiling weirdly.
‘I can start with forgiving Lisa.’ He muttered when Grissel hasn’t asked him a question.
‘All the best.’ She replied staring at him.
He grabbed the bottle, drew closer to her and cuddled her for a while then they drank to the last drop and even had the sanity to meet as couples.
Tom was however surprised at a point his wife could drink that much alcohol but it was also clear there’s little he knew about his wife. Before sleep took over, she told him about his families reaction when Jessy told them about her past and that it was the reason for the accident.
Grissel was surprised he apologized for Julia and Jessy’s behavior. She felt he was being too nice so she clutched on his arms thinking he might sneak out before the next day.
***
Grissel threw her legs around the bed. That was their normal way of waking each other up. Her arms followed until she felt the bed empty.
She finally turned around and realized Tom was not there.
Fear gripped her but his short and shirt from last night were still lying on the floor. Grissel calmed herself and stood up from the bed covering herself with the sheets.
‘Tom.’ She called out standing in the middle of the room and then walked to the bathroom. There was no sign of her husband.
She rushed downstairs in a hurry as if she was coming down with something.
There was no sign of him in the kitchen either. Everything was just as she left it. Grissel rushed back upstairs as if she was imaging things. She flipped the wardrobe open with just one hand and reality dawned on her. Some of his clothing’s were gone.
‘No Tom. You promised you wouldn’t leave me.’ She sobbed falling on the floor.
A little voice asked her if she had already checked outside. She quickly pulled the sheets and rose up.
When she got to the hall, Grissel realized his car keys were not there.
The clock ticked in front of her and it was eleven in the morning.
The front door was slightly opened exactly how Tom usually forgets to close it when he’s so mad at her in the mornings.
She rushed out, checked the compound and went out of the gate.
Grissel stood on the road waving all cars passing by. Everyone who passed by thought she was deranged.
When there was no sign of him out there and the passerby’s were giving her looks she quickly went back in and remembered she hasn’t called his line yet.
She picked up her phone from the couch and dialed his number.
‘Of course, he’s not available.’ She hissed and the tears which dried up on her face earlier with a promise not to fall anytime soon begun to build up.
She called his friends and even Clive that she doesn’t really like. Grissel dialed a few more numbers but they all haven’t heard from him that morning.
‘Aunty, hav..e you he.. ard fr..om Tom.’ She called Julia next.
‘Not yet, shouldn’t he be at work.’
Grissel forgot that day was still a working day but Julia had no idea she called his office and was told he hasn’t shown up yet.
Grissel quickly hanged up without another word.
The next thing she thought of was 911.
‘You’ve called 911, what is your emergency.’
She heard that repeatedly and still kept the phone to her ears.
‘Are you there?’ The voice behind the call asked.
‘My husband is missing.’
Grissel forgot a person has to be missing for at most forty-eight hours before the police can declare him missing but she didn’t care and hasn’t come to terms with the fact that Tom couldn’t handle the truth and may have decided to leave.
‘Madam, do you mind coming down to the station.’
‘I said my husband is missing.’ She yelled.
‘Okay, relax we will come to you. How long has it been?’
‘A few hours I guess.’ She said sitting on the floor this time.
‘What is your name Madam?’
‘Are you helping me or not?’ She snarled scaring the 911 call receiver.
‘Calm down. May we have your address?’
‘Just look for my Tom and stop asking questions.’ The vodka from last night seem to still be at work.
‘Alright, his name is Tom. Did you two have a fight?’ The lady on the call asked gently.
Grissel took the phone off her ears while still in tears and hanged up.
The mention of fight might have reminded her Tom would never leave if it were their normal fights but she knew this time it was betrayal so he probably left.
She hit the phone so hard on the floor after crying for a few minutes. She seemed out for about three minutes and felt a tap on her shoulder.
‘Love.’ Tom was squatting in front of her.
‘You are still here.’ She asked still with her eyes close.
‘Of course, I’m here.’ He noticed she has been crying so he pulled her up gently.
‘You didn’t leave.’
‘No, I sent the heavy dirty clothing’s to the laundry as we discussed the last time before I travelled and I have decided to stay home for a few days.’
‘Your things were gone.’
‘I just told you I sent them to the laundry including your stuff. What is going on here?’
‘Your phone was not reachable and your car keys were gone.’
‘I sent my car to the workshop on my way back as it developed some problems.’
‘You didn’t leave a note.’ She kept asking still holding on to their hug form earlier.
‘My phone was off since last night, I thought I had it in my car so I could call you once i set off but I guess it’s still in my short from last night.’
‘Tom, you left me all alone. I had to call everyone looking for you. Why would you do that to me? I know you are disappointed in me but yo……..’
‘Would you stop it now?’ Tom yelled and disengaged from the hug. He was controlling his anger when she couldn’t stop asking questions.
Grissel looked at him and hugged him again.
‘Don’t yell at me.’ She cried.
‘Shhhh. I won’t yell again.’ He promised. That was one of the first promises he made to her when he told her about his anger issues on their first date.
‘I was just scared of being alone all over again.’ She sobbed once more.
‘It was all just in your head Grissel. I didn’t leave you a note but I made brunch knowing you wouldn’t wake up early because of the alcohol from last night.’
‘You cooked.’ She asked still in his arms.
‘Spaghetti, it’s in the microwave.’
‘Of course, the only food you knew how to make.’ She whispered.
Tom pulled her out of his arms.
‘I told you last night, I was not going to leave you. You should start believing that there are still some few good men out there.’
‘And my husband is one of the few.’ She smiled for the first time that morning.’
‘Yes, I don’t regret marrying you.’ He wiped the tears pouring from her eyes with his palms.
‘You are God sent Tom.’
‘Oh, I passed by church.’
She pinched herself and made a slight painful whisper. ‘Ouch someone wake me up. My husband went to church without being dragged there.’
‘I didn’t plan it but I took a cab as I left my car at the workshop but met this pregnant woman struggling with her son about twenty years looking for a cab. I got down as i was only a few blocks away. I paid for their ride to use my cab then I saw a church upfront.’
‘Is this where we start a Charity Organization.’
‘Oh come on. I do give Grissel.’
‘Only to your family.’
‘You have a point but I’m tired of standing and hungry too.’
‘Sorry, have a seat so I get our salty spaghetti.’
‘How did you know it’s salty?’
‘I know my husband’s capabilities.’
‘I love you Grissel but would love to eat now so we can call everyone back and explain to them why you freaked out.’
‘You are right.’ She kissed him and walked away pulling the sheets with her.
‘Your breath still stink of vodka.’ He told her.
‘Thanks, I will take care of it right away.’
Tom watched as she struggled with the sheets.
‘Should I get you something comfortable to put on?’ He asked her while she walked away from him.
‘No, I’m okay in this besides I’m up for a fifth round from last night because I’m still unclad.’ She teased from the kitchen door.
‘Of course, you are.’ He whispered to himself and smiled.
He picked up his wife’s Phone from where she threw it earlier and adjusted the battery. Tom dialed her sister’s number.
‘Happy birthday Lisa.’ He said immediately she picked up.
‘Tom?’ Melisa at the other end of the call seemed confused.
‘Yes, enjoy yo….’
She cut him off. ‘My birthday was weeks ago.’
‘Emmm, I probably mixed up the dates.’
‘That’s alright. Maybe you should buy me a drink this evening.’
‘I can’t right now, I promised my wife I would stay home.’
‘Was that why she called everyone earlier freaking out? Aunty has been trying your line.’
‘I went out without leaving a note.’
‘You must have learnt that from Aunty.’ Melisa told him.
‘Tell her, I’m safe and home.’ Tom informed.
‘Alright, Ha…..’
Tom hanged up before she could conclude her sentence.
Blemished Love Episode 21 – Loudest Thoughts
Grissel has been extremely happy these past week. She laughs at the little thing her husband says and she hasn’t been her moody self since her truth came out. Though Tom was glad about her new behavior, he couldn’t help but worry she was hurting all over again.
‘Is everything okay?’
‘Yes Tom. Why did you ask?’ Grissel continued knotting the edges of his tie.
‘Because you are fixing my tie.’
So? Can’t a woman fix her husband’s tie anymore?’
‘Grissel you hate fixing my tie and you are humming my favorite song which you dislike.’
‘There you go.’ She stopped humming the song and patted him on the chest.
She reached for his suitcase from the couch and dusted it with her morning gown.
‘I will see you in the evening.’
‘Grissel?’ He called out.
‘Yes, wait.’ She rushed to the kitchen and came back with his lunch box.
‘Egg sauce and plan…’
‘Plantain for lunch. I get it but are you alright.’
“Tom I’m just one happy and lucky woman.”
‘Okay but you would tell me if there’s an issue right?’
‘No more secrets and you are late for work.’ She replied grinning.
‘You are right.’ He grabbed the lunch box and rushed to the door and came back giving her a kiss.
‘Be home before seven.’
Tom waved her and left hurriedly.
***
‘Hey, I’m hitting the road. See you on Monday.’ Tom peeped into Stella’s office.
‘Wait up, happy birthday.’ She picked up a bottle of wine from her table drawer.
‘What?’ Tom seems to have forgotten it was his birthday.
‘Anna told me today is your birthday.’ She said and snapped her fingers.
Anna and some few workers he thought had left after the hectic day, they had trying to save their jobs came in with a cake and wine glasses.
‘What is all this?’ He asked looking towards Stella’s direction.
‘Don’t look at me?’ Stella said smiling.
‘But you planned this?’ He questioned.
‘No, we did.’ Jones walked towards him.
‘Yes we all did Tom. You did well standing up for us today and it’s your birthday at least drinking with your coworkers after work isn’t against the company’s rules.’ One of his colleagues replied.
‘Actually it is, Steven.’ Tom responded to his other colleague’s question.
‘I guess the boss here can pardon as for tonight.’ Anna asked looking at Stella who hasn’t stopped smiling since Tom came in.
‘That’s fine Tom, so far as no one drives home drunk.’ She finally stopped smiling.
‘Cheers.’ Jones popped the champagne he took from Stella earlier startling everyone.
***
‘Aunty that chicken is for Tom.’ Melisa cautioned.
‘I don’t see him here Lisa. I can’t come to a party and inhale chicken flavor when the host is nowhere to be found.’
‘We don’t call it host but celebrant.’ Melisa teased.
‘Whatever, he will come and meet empty plates.’ Julia picked up another chicken.
‘Your aunty is right you know.’ Jessy chipped in.
Grissel got his family and friends together for a surprise party.
‘Grissel, did you call him?’ Adam asked.
‘Yes, he’s on his way.’ She replied with a sad tone and walked away to the kitchen knowing she just lied.
Grissel started crying as soon as she was out of sight.
She sat on the kitchen floor sobbing. ‘Not again Tom.’
‘You lied out there.’ Melisa said standing at the door.
She quickly wiped her face and stood up.
‘Do you need anything?’ Grissel asked pretending not to have heard what she said.
‘He is not coming right?’ Melisa asked again.
She paused wiping her face and sat on the chair abruptly.
‘I don’t know Lisa. I did all these for him and he’s not even picking up my calls.’ She sobbed.
‘Did you call his friends?’
‘They are all here and haven’t been able to reach him either.’
‘He’s probably still at work.’
‘I doubt because I told him to come home before seven and his office line wasn’t going through earlier.’
‘I’m sorry about my brother’s behavior but I’m sure he’s probably with one of his coworkers celebrating.’
‘Don’t apologize for him?’ She stood up towards the door and signaled Austin who was standing with his friends by the stairs.
Austin hurriedly walked over.
‘Call your girlfriend and tell her to allow my husband come home.’ Grissel said angrily.
‘Girlfriend?’ He queried confused.
‘Yes, Stella.’
‘I told you I’m not interested in Stella.’
‘Whatever, just call her already?’ She snapped while Melisa looked on.
Austin and Stella has been on a few dates but he wasn’t so attracted to her. She’s not answering, he was saying when Stella said Hello.
‘Let me speak to Tom.’ He didn’t finish before Stella passed the phone on.
The others were done with the drinking and was long gone but Tom walked Stella to her car and they stood there chatting and lost track of time.
‘Man, what is it?’ He said immediately he took the phone from Stella after she told her it was Austin.
‘Your wife is furious as you just ruined your party.’
‘Which party?’ He asked and gasped as if he just figured it out.
‘Just come home already.’ Austin hanged up.
‘He’s on his way. Do you need anything else?’
‘Yes, tell Clive to stop smiling at me else he would receive another wine bottle on his head.’ She said quietly and Austin left without making much of what she said.
Melisa kept staring at her moving about helplessly.
‘You know, I’m here to listen, if Tom is not treating you right.’
‘I’m fine Lisa. He probably didn’t figure it out this morning when I told him to come home before seven.’
‘Okay, let me help you warm up the rest of the food as he’s on his way already.’
‘Thank you.’ She feigned a grin.
Tom dropped the call and couldn’t stop hissing.
***
Julia couldn’t stop chewing on the chicken so they decided to have their starter while they wait for Tom. It took an hour before his car made the screeching sound.
‘Finally!’ Clive exclaimed.
Grissel gave him an ugly look. She was angry at Austin when he brought Clive to her house after she specifically told him not to.
‘Let me get the gate.’ Grissel muttered.
‘I will get it, just relax.’ Adam offered.
Within some few minutes he came in looking scruffily dressed.
‘About time.’ Julia screened him with her eyes.
‘I apologize for keeping you all waiting. I had some emergency at work.’ He said walking towards where Grissel sat while shaking his friend’s one after the other.
‘Isn’t that the same excuse they give always?’ Julia teased.
‘As if they have a manual for it.’ Jessy chipped in while Adam shook his head.
Grissel stood up when he was almost closer.
‘Let me get a few more of these.’
She pointed to the chicken while Tom stood half way with a foolish look on.
He followed her when she walked away towards the kitchen.
‘Hey, hold up.’ He said rushing after her and disappeared into the kitchen.
Grissel wasn’t so sure if that was the time to get angry unnecessarily but she focused on what she came to the kitchen for.
‘Love.’
‘Don’t love me?’ She snarled.
‘I forgot it was my birthday and you didn’t give me any clue.’
She dropped the spoon loudly in the bowl in front of her.
‘Do you mind? I’m really busy here.’ She yelled.
Julia wasn’t so comfortable with that noise. She made an attempt to stand up when Melisa tapped her to relax.
‘Okay, but I wasn’t with Stella if you care to know.’
‘This isn’t the time to lie Tom.’
‘Maybe i was with her but a few colleagues were around for a surprise party.’
‘I don’t want to hear it. Just let it go.’
‘Okay, but at least smile for the rest of the evening. We have guests and you don’t want them thinking I don’t care about my wife.’
She angrily dropped the ladle louder this time.
‘Do you care? At least our guest will be getting the right impression.’
‘What is that supposed to mean? I stay out all the time and you never complain. What’s the difference this time?’
‘Seriously, do you even need to ask me that? We have guests Tom.’
‘I’m no magician to know we would be having guests so cut the nagging and let’s get out of here.’
‘You think I’m nagging.’
‘Yes, your silence is uncalled for.’
‘If you think I’m over reacting when you came back dressed this way,’ she pointed to his left side of the shirt that was hanging, ‘then don’t come back at all next time you decide to spend the night with her.’ Grissel hadn’t noticed their argument was reaching the hall.
‘Ooh this is about your friend right?’
‘Ella is the least of my problems right now.’
‘Okay then you should know, I’m not your ex-husband to be home all the time just because you want me to.’ Tom said without even realizing he just did the one thing he promised last night not to do after Grissel had sat him down to tell him about her previous marriage.
Grissel stared sadly at him and finally gave him the leave me alone look and got hold of the chicken bowl from the microwave. She forgot when she placed it in there a few minutes ago, her intention was to get it warmed.
Tom realized his mistake so he reached out to her and hugged her tightly whiles she kept struggling to be free from his grasp.
‘Do you two want to finish eating yourselves before your guests eat?’ They heard Julia by the kitchen door.
Seems she was loud at the door so everyone at the table laughed while Tom and Grissel jumped up like kids.
‘Aunty, sorry. She’s just getting the chicken warmed up.’
‘And you were giving her motivation right? Get out of the kitchen.’ Julia said jokingly.
Grissel feigned a smile and walked away while Tom followed.
They had a quiet dinner as everyone was hungry especially Julia who had more than enough.
Mike checked the time and prompted his friends it was almost eleven pm.
They all stood up excusing themselves from the family while signaling Tom.
‘Grissel, thanks for a beautiful meal.’ Austin said.
She smiled to her friend.
‘Yes, you cook well.’ Clive interrupted.
She nodded with her unhappy face.
Clive knew she hadn’t told anyone about their encounter so he was relieved.
The guys asked permission to leave and Tom escorted them out.
‘Man, what kept you that long.’ Clive asked when they got to their car.
‘My Coworkers wanted to have a drink up with me. I couldn’t exactly say no.’
‘Stella or your coworkers.’ Mike asked obviously not comfortable.
‘Not you too Mike.’ Tom cautioned.
‘You could have called you know. Grissel was in there alone not knowing where you were.’ Austin chipped in.
‘Come on, She wasn’t alone. My family was there.’
‘Trust me Tom, she wasn’t so comfortable in there tonight. I don’t know if they had a fight before we came but everyone was ignoring her.’
‘True, except for Adam who initiated a few conversations?’ Clive confirmed Mike’s observations.
‘I forgot to call and besides I didn’t ask her for a party.’
‘But you got one and ruined it. That’s what women do. So you got to prepare for it anytime.’ Austin replied.
‘You three should go already. I’m not sure I did anything wrong tonight.’
‘Sure, see you around.’ Clive shook his hand.
‘Clive you never told us what happened to your head the last time.’ Austin asked suddenly.
‘Emmm that, I told you guys, a lady hit me with a bottle.’
‘Oh yeah, a wine bottle I guess.’ Austin winced.
‘Yes, spilling all the wine.’ Clive said studying his friend to find out what he knew as he was so sure Grissel hasn’t told anyone yet because he was still alive. If she had, Austin alone would have killed him.
‘I’m sure that woman really despise you.’ Austin said with contempt.
The others looked at him with a spill it out look.
‘Austin, do you know something we don’t?’
‘No Mike, I’m just sympathizing with our friend here.’ He lied and feigned a smile.
They all laughed and got into their respective cars. But Austin was holding back.
***
Austin drove after Mike had left. He followed Clive until he noticed him behind him and stopped. Clive came out his car while Austin slowed down holding on to his steer.
As Clive was walking closer, he started the car and drove off hitting him when Clive tried to give him way to pack. Austin made sure he didn’t give him any permanent injury. He got out of the car and saw him lying on the floor holding his waist.
‘What was that Austin?’
‘That was for Grissel. The next time you even mention her name you’ll end up at the morgue.’
Clive raised up his head. ‘Who are you to threaten me?’
‘I’m nobody but I won’t allow you hurt any woman ever again.’
‘Any woman or just Grissel?’ He shot back.
‘I’m glad you understand me.’ He raged.
‘What is it with you and her anyway?’ He examined his left leg and tried to raise himself up.
‘That’s none of your business.’ Austin flared up.
‘Wait a minute.’ Clive tried to read his facial expression.
‘What?’ Austin asked angrily.
‘You love her too, don’t you?’
Austin took off his gaze quickly.
‘It’s true then.’ He confirmed for him when he was mute.
‘What if it’s true?’ He smirked unawares. ‘Grissel is everything to me. Put that at the back of your mind the next time you try touching her.’
‘Oh wow. The golden boy has finally agreed he’s in love with his friend’s wife.’
‘At least I’m better than you Clive.’
‘Come on, we are both fighting for the same thing.’
‘No we are not Clive. She’s with somebody else and you need to respect that.’
‘You know Tom doesn’t deserve her after all the hearts he has broken in the past.’
‘Grissel made her choice and I think she has made Tom a better man.’
‘So you want me to stay out of it.’
‘Yes, or next time, I might hit you hard.’
‘Have you told Tom?’
‘You think you would still be alive if he knew. I figured it out myself this evening and you confirmed it when we were leaving.’
He tried to say something but realized Austin was being serious so he closed his mouth.
Clive watched him walk back to his car door without another threat. He picked up himself from the floor and could barely walk.
***
Grissel was convincing Adam and Jessy to sleep over as it was already late.
Melisa and Julia had no problems sleeping over since that wasn’t going to be their first time.
She was still talking to them as they were seated by the TV.
‘That’s a beautiful Shirt. I should get one for Adam.’ Jessy pointed out which drew everyone’s attention to Tom descending from the stairs.
‘Yes, you got a good color too. I need one for a friend, did you get it online?’ Julia smiled.
‘I just saw it on my bed. I guess it’s my birthday gift.’
‘Aah, it’s obvious Grissel got this.’ Adam announced.
No one spoke again as Melisa was behind them pressing her phone.
Tom noticed they all suddenly went mute when Adam mentioned Grissel.
‘Okay,’ he sighed, ‘I didn’t want to do this, but it’s about time and I would be blunt here.’
He walked up to them and brought the coffee table to where they sat.
Julia screened his face to be sure he was okay.
‘Tom, you look scary with that look on your face.’ Adam said.
‘Adam forgive me but I’m going to step on your toes and Jessy you two are sleeping over.’
‘Is everything alright?’ Julia sounded concerned.
‘Yes aunty, I can see how you all are ignoring my wife here. She had kids and was married before so what?’
Jessy relaxed back and Julia gasped.
‘Does that make her any less of a woman? Don’t you all have things you regret doing?’
He watched them sternly as they all kept mute after their initial reactions while Grissel was already near tears.
Melisa’s phone burl and she quickly hanged up.
‘Sorry, I will turn this off.’ She whispered.
‘She betrayed your trust and I get that. But I didn’t expect you grownups to treat her like an outcast.’
Adam scoffed to get his attention.
‘You are a good man Tom. Now I can relax knowing our sister here is in good hands.’ He shook his shoulder gently.
‘Thank you Adam, I heard everything you did for her.’ He tried to reach out to Grissel who quickly withdrew her hands. Tom got the message and took off her gaze watching Julia closely.
***
‘Sorry son, I handled it wrong.’ Julia finally found her voice.
‘Yeah you all did.’
‘We just wanted her to tell you the truth as it wasn’t right keeping you in the dark.’ Julia clarified.
‘Well she has, so can we put this aside and have our sleep over in peace.’ Tom replied.
‘Grissel are you okay?’ Jessy asked to break her silence.
She nodded.
‘Sorry I treated you the way I did. I just wanted you to wake up before you lose your marriage and yourself.’
‘I get it Jessy and i know you were just looking out for me.’
Jessy gestured her and Grissel understood she needs to apologize to Julia again.
Anytime she had an argument with Adam, Grissel always gave her that look, now it was her turn to do the needful.
She carried herself beside Adam and walked to where Julia sat.
‘I’m sorr..y to ha..ve disapp…ointed you.’ She stuttered a little and sat beside her.
‘It’s okay, I knew you would do the right thing. You just needed a little push.’
‘Thank you.’
‘Tom, what’s the plan now.’
‘There’s no plan, and the guy just want attention. He wants her back.’
‘But they are no more right?’ Julia asked to satisfy her curiosity.
‘Of course, I made sure of that.’ Adam interrupted before Tom could answer.
‘Good but I’m not sure I even heard the real story.’ Julia mentioned turning to Grissel.
‘Emmm, I can summarize.’ She closed her eyes sharply and opened it after a minute.
‘Are you sure you want to do this again.’
She ignored her husband and proceeded to tell her story all over again. Grissel managed without a single drop of tear this time but Jessy kept wiping her face.
‘You were young and I totally understand but what kind of a man does that.’
‘He was just hurt when he nearly lost both kids.’
‘Talking about kids, have you decided on anything yet?’
‘No, Shirley is better off with her dad.’
‘Did you say Shirley?’ Melisa who was quiet all this while asked.
‘Yeah. Why?’
‘Nothing.’ Melisa said with an uncomfortable tone.
‘But you are her mother Grissel. She needs to know you exist.’
‘I’m not sure I can be a good mother.’
‘Why do you say that?’ Julia sympathized.
‘I killed one already, what if something goes wrong.’
‘You are matured now and you found love.’ Julia encouraged.
‘Yes, you have it in you. If you took care of my two kids while I was away for weeks then you can do same for yours.’ Jessy suddenly cut in.
‘I still don’t want her besides I live with one big kid already.’ She said and everyone laughed.
Tom didn’t find it funny as he was so quiet earlier and it seemed to him, Grissel would never have his children which he was trying to adjust to.
‘I love her and that’s what matters.’ He thought quietly.
‘What’s wrong Tom?’ Melisa noticed he was murmuring to himself.
‘None of your business.’ Tom answered rudely before realizing he wasn’t alone.
‘Sorry, I interfered.’ She said and focused on her phone.
Julia showed her displeasure especially when they were not alone but in the midst of Grissel’s family.
‘Lisa, so I heard you got a guy doing your shopping now.’ Tom asked after a few seconds probably hoping to take his words back.
‘You mean, she got a boyfriend?’ Their aunt corrected.
‘Yeah, that’s just by the way. So when are you going back to being a doctor. It would be good to have one around when my wife and I decide to have little Tom’s.’
Melisa paused pressing her phone as she wasn’t sure Tom was actually talking to her.
‘Lisa, your brother is looking out for you.’ Julia encouraged her to speak up.
‘I haven’t thought of it yet.’ Melisa quietly pinched herself to be sure, she was talking to Tom.
‘You should, I can pull a few strings for you so you get a hospital closer to home.’
‘Thank you Tom.’ She smiled, and quickly pushed her tears back.
Grissel noticed that and stood up interrupting them.
‘I’ll get the rooms sorted out in five minutes.’ She announced.
‘Do you need help?’ Tom asked hoping she wouldn’t disgrace him.
‘No, please.’ She responded and walked away while Melisa quickly rushed after her.
***
‘Do you think Tom is really happy with his decision to still be with me?’ Grissel asked after they sorted out the last room.
‘Come here.’ Melisa led her to the bed they laid earlier. ‘I was surprised he made that decision but yet again my brother adores you and I guess being with you for this short while changed him.’
‘But I’m scared Lisa. What if he wakes up one day and decides to leave?’
‘You can’t know that right now but dwelling on the negatives would rather break you two apart.’ She muttered. ‘He made the decision, trust him, talk to him about your fears and continue to love him. That’s all it takes to keep a man.’
She suddenly felt tears running down her cheeks. ‘Sorry about the tears.’ Grissel wiped it with her palm.
‘That’s alright and I’m really sorry for how I treated you in the past.’
‘Thank you Lisa and it’s okay, I go everywhere with my baggage and people don’t have a choice but to be mean towards me.’
Melisa studied her for some few minutes. ‘Does he stay out late that often or it just started after he found out about your past.’
‘I’m not even sure anymore Lisa.’
She drew her closer in a hug when a knock came on the door.
‘Lisa, what are you doing to my wife in there and why is the door locked.’
They both looked at each other and realized they hadn’t noticed the door was locked.
But since they were already done with the rooms, they quickly stood up and went out. They met knock staring at them.
‘Did she make you cry again?’ He quickly asked after studying Grissel and noticed she must have been crying.
‘Tom, I di…..’ Melisa struggled with what she wanted to say.
‘No you made me cry Tom.’ Grissel cut Melisa off when she was struggling with her words.
Tom frowned and reached out to Grissel. ‘Come with me.’ He carried her away in his arms without looking back while Melisa looked on smiling.
To be continued
