When She’s Richer, Older and Smarter – Kingsley Okonkwo
We need to understand that God created marriage. God is the source and originator of marriage, marriage wasn’t Adam’s idea or any man’s idea. Marriage was created by God and the only way to enjoy marriage is to build it on the principles of God’s word.
“And in that day seven women shall take hold of one man, saying, We will eat our own bread, and wear our own apparel: only let us be called by thy name, to take away our reproach.”
In the older generation, the age difference between the average couple was ten years and usually, the man is older. In those days there were no clear cut guidelines as regarding marriage especially in terms of submission and respect. In order to achieve this, the idea of a wide age difference between couples came up. When the man is fifteen years older than the lady, submission is a bit easier. The age also allows for other things.
Most likely the man would have finished schooling, and will be working so he will be better placed financially and ready to meet the woman’s needs at the level where her needs are. Also, when he is older, chances are that he should be smarter. This kind of setting usually makes respect and submission quite easy. It is easier for the woman to serve her husband in ways that show and communicate respect readily.
However, we are in a time and generation where it is possible for a woman to be older, richer and smarter. Things have changed drastically now, the average woman cannot wait for a 10-15 age difference. A lot of people want to marry people who are closer in age to them. The main reason is because usually, most people want to marry their friend, people with whom they can identify with in several ways. With a wide age difference, the two people become individuals flowing in different generations and this can make communication difficult. Presently, we are in a dispensation where the women are now older and economically independent than most guys.
Scripturally, there is nothing wrong with a woman being slightly younger, better placed financially or more educated than a guy she is in a relationship with. There is nowhere in the bible God condemns this. The major reason people frown against this type of relationship is because, it is not everyone that can cope with situations like this. Most men especially, are uneasy with the idea of being married to a woman who is older, richer and smarter especially in this part of the world because they are insecure. Insecurity is a serious issue in this part of the world, and a major reason why the success rate is low. As individuals especially as a man, insecurity is a big issue.
There is NOTHING WRONG SCRIPTURALLY with a man marrying a woman who is older, richer and smarter. And this is the reason why as a believer, you need to keep renewing your mind daily so it is constantly in-tune with God’s words and his principles not tradition or societal values and expectations.
“But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.”
Men are not in anyway superior to women. Women and men are equals. Women are not rewards given in exchange for hard work. Women are female beings with vision and purposes. They are not in anyway inferior to men. This scripture talks about the spiritual order God has instituted for marriage. The woman is meant to submit to the man she is married to, the man is the head of the home, he leads and then he in return also submits to God. Some men, however believe that they can extend this command outside of their home. That is wrong. The man is the head of his OWN wife only. As a man you have no right to tell another woman or someone else’s wife what to wear or how to look or act. You are head in your home only.
Ephesians 5: 22
“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.”
What this means is that the woman understands that whatever age the man is, no matter how dull or how smart he is, no matter how rich or broke he is, he is the HEAD. That means that from the moment you agree to marry him, you have agreed to submit to him. If you cannot submit to him, then don’t bother getting married. Some women who are richer, older and smarter, tend to just get married for the name and title ‘Mrs’, once they get this, every other thing becomes secondary. This is not right.
If as a lady you must get married, do not ‘hire’ a husband just because you think you don’t stand a chance any longer or because you are desperate for a name and title, marry because you love the man and you are ready to submit to him. If you don’t love him and you are not willing to submit, wait. Wait till a man you love, respect and can submit to finds you.
As a man, do not marry a woman ,if you are not comfortable with her being more educated, earning more or older. Importantly, never ever marry that woman because of her money. Money only does so much, on the long run you will get tired. Marriage is not something that can be run or sustained by greed.
Marriage is a covenant. If you are going in with unclean intentions, you will get tired eventually.
When She’s Richer
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