THE RIGHT WAY TO COMPARE YOUR RELATIONSHIP AND MARRIAGE.
written by Allison Hyacintho
I can hear your thoughts heating up right now, you are probably thinking, “no way Sir, I love your teachings but this one is totally wrong. God hates comparisons, let alone approving a dating or a married couple to compare their relationship with that of other people.”
Yes way! God wants us to do it. He wants us to compare the success and progress of our relationship and marriage all the time. The comparison is not with the success and journey of other Christian marriages you admire, it is not with the nice ‘perfecto’ relationship goals photos people share on Instagram, naaa. God wants us to compare our love relationship with the relationship He has revealed to us in the WORD. I know you may not know this, so let me show you how to compare your relationship with the perfect marriage example that God has given to us.
It’s 1Corinthians 13:
Love is kind – is my best friend Chocolate and I kind to eachother? Do we do kind things for eachother? Besides opening the car door for her and pulling out her chair at the restaurant what other kind things am I doing for her? Am I taking the work Load off her by offering to do some task for her? Besides her birthday, and Christmas, and of course valentines day, plus the times when she specifically asked me to help her with a favour, what kind things have I done for her lately?
Love is patient – hmmmm, am I patiently guiding him through those characters I would love for him to adjust to? Or am I too anxious to see those changes happening right now that I forget he has to learn again how to get used to doing things a different way now that he is with a different me.
Love does not envy – do I trust her? Does she trust me too? Are we giving each other any reason to doubt our love and commitment?
Love is not self seeking – do I put my needs first before his own everytime? Am I understanding of his opinions, or do I seek to win the opinion poll everytime? Is our trust and love level at that point where we respect each other’s views and consider every detail before making decisions?
Love is not proud – when was the last time we got into a fight, and why did it take so long for me to apologize? Am I ‘high-shouldered’ because I earn more than my partner?
Love is not easily angered – is there something I’m still holding against her? Have I really forgiven her for the last time she hurt me? Or I’m just waiting for the next one to attack with all these few points of mine. what have I done out of anger that I really should never have done?
Love protects – it protects your partner first against your family. Have I in anyway put my partner down in the presence of company such as my family and close friends. When was the last time I defended her, even when she was wrong?
This helps me every time I need to look in and see if I am loving my partner the way God wants her to be loved. We have to compare our relationship always, not with the cute couples on Instagram, not with your best friends relationship or even your pastor’s marriage, but with the WORD, because this is the only variable that will remain constant, in season and out of season, all other ones are only as good as what they want you to see.?
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