Man Wey Dey Reason Episode 8 – Flow1759
“wetin dey pursue you wey make u dey run enter compound like that?” Man asked as i ran into the compound huffing and puffing. “nothing oh, i just dey jog, i dey exercise my body” i replied with a fat lie.
The other guys came in few minutes later laughing at me beyond control, “Flow u get mind oh, see as u go press that babe nyash” Tupac said. “see as u go put that guy for wahala wey no concern am, but that two slap hot oh” Snoop added.
“ehen, Bigie where the 1k wey u say u go give me if i press the nyash?” i queried. “i dey come make i give u” Bigie said reaching for his wallet in the back pocket of his trousers. I tot he wanted to bring out just one wallet. He brought out five Wallets.
“chei! Bigie, wetin u carry all dis wallet dey do, u dey sell wallet?” i said. When Tupac glanced at the wallets, he smiled and said, “Bigie, so u thief all dis wallet from those guys wey dey drink with us for Ilya du Neked wire? Nawa for u oh, which day u go stop dis u pick pocket and looting, anywhere u enter, something must miss, y na?”. Instantly, i deeped my right hand into my back pocket to confirm if my wallet was still there. It was there.
While we were chanting kegite songs and dancing, the “Notorious BIG” was busy picking pockets. Notorious BIG indeed, notorious for stealing. “dis thing wey u dey do no good oh, see how many wallet u thief, Five wallet, so all that time wey u dey do like say u dey dance, wey u dey come stand for back of people wey dey dance, na their wallet u dey collect?” Brainbox said.
Those guys were really insensitive and f’oolish, because i couldn’t imagine someone taking my wallet without my noticing. Well, u wouldn’t blame them, they were “under the influence” of alcohol.
The painful part of the whole thing was that Bigie wasn’t even remorseful, he was smiling like he just hite Jackpot.
Well, i guess it was Jackpot to him, but for the five guys he stole their wallets, it would be like a horror movie to them. because it was certain some of them would work as bar attendants at Ilya du Neked wire that night, oweing to the fact that they wouldn’t be able to fort the bill for the several litres of Holy water they drank, while some others would pay with their phones, that is if Bigie didn’t steal phones also, “him even steal two phone sef” Tupac confirmed. Oh my world!! he stole phones also.
Aggreement was Aggreement, so i nevertheless collected my 1k from Bigie, afterall i worked hard to earn it.
“Flow u go follow me go buy that Cardinal boxers for Snoop” Brainbox said to me as we both sat under the Mango tree. “where u go see am buy?” i queried. “No worry na, na me be Brainbox na, i go use my brain” Brainbox replied.
“wetin u carry for nylon sef?” i asked Brainbox as we walked out of the compound. “No worry when we reach where we dey go, u go see am” Brainbox sounded like Man.
I wasn’t really curious to know what was in the nylon bag, rather i was curious to know where we were going to. Or were we boarding the next available flight to USA to go ask Snoop dogg to give us his Cardinal Boxers? Only time could tell.
“i wan buy Perry cole boxers, how much?” Brainbox inquired as we entered a boutique. “why u wan buy Perry cole boxers na, na Cardinal boxers u suppose buy na” I whispered to Brainbox.
“Perry cole is 250, choose from any of these” An Angelic, Delectable, Ebony, Charming, Drop dead Gorgeous, Damsel said offering Brainbox several boxers.
Brainbox selected a boxers that looked almost like Snoop’s Cardinal boxers. I couldn’t help but admire the Beautiful Damsel as she sold the boxers to Brainbox. I forgot my mouth was ajar. She looked more like an angel sent from up above.
“Flow make we dey go na, i don buy finish” Brainbox said. Carried away by the beauty of the Damsel i was admiring, i totally forgot my name was Flow.
So i instantly changed my name to Flowey.
“who u dey call Flow, my name no be Flow, my name na Flowey, how many times i go tell u” I said to Brainbox. Brainbox was surprised at how i instantly changed my name.
“don’t mind my friend, he is this naughty sometimes, my name is Flowey, i am half American and half Nigerian, what is ur name?” I said to the Damsel offering her my hands. She gave me a warm handshake and said, “ehnn My name is Florence”.
“wow! What a coincidence, Flowey and Florence, what a picture perfect combination” I teased. “you own this place?” i asked taking a glimpse at the beautiful boutique, “yeah” Florence responded. “so can i come keep u company any time soon?” I inquired. “yeah, any time soon” Florence replied.
“Flow u wey never even go Abuja wey dey for dis Nigeria before, u com dey tell babe say u be half Nigeria, half America, why u sabi lie like dis? U even change ur name sef” Brainbox said as we walked out of Florence’s boutique. “u no know say if woman thing don reach like dis, i go turn to Chief LIEnus? U no know say Flow no be like American name? Nahim make me change am to Flowey” I explained.
“where we dey go now?” i asked. “when we reach there, u go know” Brainbox sounded like MAN wey dey reason.
“oga Joe, i wan sew something oh” Brainbox said as we entered the shop of Oga Joe the Tailor. “wetin u wan sew?” Oga Joe inquired. “u go help me comot the label of dis boxers put for dis other boxers, u go try make u put am the same way wey e dey for dis one oh” Brainbox explained to Oga Joe how he was to swap both labels.
“u think say Snoop no go know?” i said. “unless u carry dis ur sharp amebo mouth tell am, na that time him go know” Brainbox said, “u dey mad, na ur family members get sharp mouth” i cursed.
As we waited for Oga Joe to finish sewing, all i was thinking was Florence, “that girl fine oh, but i go fit chyke her so? me wey no get money, shey na Kpokpon money i go use take care of her? The girl wey get money, na she get that boutique oh, abeg na high class girl jor” i thought.
Woe betide me if i made use of my kponkpon earnings to fort any lady’s bill when i was barely feeding from hand to mouth. And morealso such “hard earned money” should be spent on oneself and not on a female, or so i tot.
I was still lost in my thoughts when the scary ringtone of my phone brought me back to reality. It was Tega.
He wanted us to come home immediately, that he was having a mini birthday party at home.
As we left Oga Joe’s Shop walking home. i told Brainbox that we should board a bike so that we wouldn’t miss the fun of the party. I was on a euphoria mood. I tot it was a normal birthday party, i never knew we were in for a dangerous drinking spree.
We got home in time to meet an opened bottle of Saint Remy. With music playing from our sound system, the room was sure in a party mood.
“Flow bring cup make we pour Saint Remy drink na” Brainbox said. I brought two cups and we joined the others drinking.
“make una see King Edward wey una go mix joint the Saint Remy oh” Tega the Celebrant offered two bottles of King Edward dry gin. “u wan kill person? How we go mix King Edward and Saint Remy” i almost said.
“ehen, Flow and Brainbox, dis na Opopo my Friend and dis na Lydia my babe” Tega introduced his friend and his “skinny” girlfriend. I simply shook hands with the both of them, Opopo’s hand was bony while Lydia’s hand was pure bone and no flesh, it was as if i was shaking the hand of a skeleton.
“guy see ur Cardinal boxers oh” Brainbox said offering Snoop the “customised” boxers. “how u take get the boxers?” Snoop asked after comfirming it was truely Cardinal. “why u wan know, as far as i don buy ur boxers, how i take buy am no be ur concern” Brainbox said.
“what of Pkc na?” I asked nobody in particular. “him don go church, him say him no go sleep here dis nite, because him wan dey church and prepare for service tommorow, u know say tommorow na Sunday” Man replied.
Tega and his friend Opopo were gisting with infusion of slangs. Snoop soon Joined the gist. And Lydia also. “so dis girl na Black B’ra girl!! nawa oh”.
Black B’ra was the female cult that was affiliated to .
So it was only I and Man that weren’t a members of anything “Black”, and of course Baba Jay.
I wasn’t good at drinking dry gin, so i stuck to drinking only Saint Remy. Though Saint Remy wasn’t any better. Man was gulping the King Edward very fast, Baba Jay was faster, and Snoop was fastest.
We were drinking our third Bottle of Saint Remy when someone knocked at the Door, “come in” Snoop said after reducing the volume of the music playing. I initially tot it was Tupac and Bigie that were knocking, It wasn’t them. It was MOG.
He came in, picked up an empty bottle of Saint Remy, stared at it for a while. The whole room was as quite as a graveyard. I tot MOG’s next line of action would be to hite one of us on the head with he bottle he was holding, and crown his action “a fight for the gospel”.
He did nothing of that nature. Instead he said, “so u people are drinking alcohol ehn”. “why una no tell me say King Edward na Alcoholic drink na, una com let me follow una dey drink, i think say King Edward na soft drink oh” Man tried to cover up his Sin. But that was sure the most f’oolish way to go about it.