Man Wey Dey Reason Episode 60 – Flow1759
Why Bigie was declared wanted by the Buccaneers wasn’t only because he stole Opopo’s laptop, he also burgled the room of an Alora and stole 100k, after he did that, he packed his bag and ran to Ohafia.
Two weeks later.
“Baba jay you don come back from village?” I saw Baba jay entered Big boys cutz.
“yes oh, i don come back oh” He responded with a bright smile.
That day was the first day in a long while that i saw Baba jay smiled.
“this one wey you dey shine your teeth like person wey drink hot pepper soup, hope say we dey safe?” I said to him.
“guy i dey happy pass person wey drink hot pepper soup oh” He responded.
“wetin happen na? You win jackpot? Abi you win Lottery?” Man asked.
“guy my younger brother wey dey Abroad come village oh, the guy land me Dollars make i use go pay all the money wey i dey owe for school oh” He announced.
“Mumu!! Old man like you, na your younger brother dey give you money wey you go use go pay your school fees” I almost said.
“guy your younger brother na correct guy oh, which country him dey for Abroad?” I needed to know.
I thought his answer would be either USA or UK. Or both.
“na Malaysia him dey” He answered.
I thought he said; “Mali”. “so your brother dey Mali, you com dey say him dey Abroad, Mali dey back of my village na, from my Village you fit use Okada go Mali” I teased.
“i say Malaysia, no be Mali” He corrected.
“so your brother dey Malaysia, and you dey happy” Man said.
“make i no happy?” Baba jay queried.
“you don ask am wetin him dey do for Malaysia?” Man said.
“him say him dey work for Oil company” Baba jay answered.
“no be only Oil company, na Ororo company” Brainbox said.
Ororo means Groundnut Oil.
“so you no know say Malaysia na the headquarter of Coco? So na Coco your brother dey sell for Malaysia” Man said.
“wetin be Coco?” Baba jay asked.
“Coco na Coconut” I was pulling his legs.
“how my brother go go Malaysia go sell Coconut, which kin nonesense business be that” Baba f’oolishly replied.
“Mumu! So you no know say Coco na C’ocaine” Snoop cursed.
“God forbid!! How my brother go dey sell C’ocaine for Malaysia, my brother na responsible guy oh” said Baba jay.
“see, look me well well, i no be like responsible guy?” Man asked Baba jay.
“you no be like responsible guy oh, you be like I’diot, you be like fool, you be like Babalawo, infact, you be like Goat” I nearly said.
“answer me na” Man raised his voice.
“you be like responsible guy na” Baba jay answered.
“see, e remain small wey i for go Malaysia with my cousin, that my cousin don die now, the Coco wey him swallow burst for him belle, me sef for don die if to say i follow am” Man narrated.
“how you go die, your Talley go help you na” Brainbox said.
“my Talley no fit help me for that one oh, abi you no know say Africa Jaz no fit work for Abroad” Man said.
When we were younger, we were told by our elder ones that Juju when taken above several Seas would be neutralized. I can’t tell how true that was, even up to this moment. How i go know na? I never use Juju before na, talk less of him senior brother “Jaz”. And i never travel abroad before na.
Okay!! I don travel abroad two times. The two times na Benin Republic i travel go buy chicken and turkey.
I remember now, i don travel go France sef. In my dreams. Me and my friends even played football in the famous Eiffel Towers.
“Flow you go follow me go Ama Hausa go change this Dollar to Naira oh” Baba jay said.
“who be Flow?” I asked.
“na you na” He replied.
“i resemble person wey wan die? You want make those Aboki use my blokus do Suya? Tell Man wey sabi speak Hausa make him follow you go jor” I said.
“Man you go follow me go oh, abeg” Baba jay pleaded.
“no wahala, as far as you go give me 500naira wey i go use buy Suya and Yogurt if we reach there” Man demanded.
“no wahala, i go give you na, make we dey go” Baba jay said, and they left.
About an hour after they left, a Police van parked in front of Big boys cutz, and three Policemen came out of the van. They wore bulletproofs like they wanted to go fight third world war.
A tall lady walked behind them.
“that is the guy! That is the guy that duped me!” She pointed towards me.
“who dupe you, i know you?” my heart skipped.
“which of them?” One of the Policemen asked her.
“the one on blue T-shirt” She responded.
I wasn’t on Blue T-shirt. So it wasn’t me.
Guess who it was?
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Why Brainbox was arrested was because he promised the Lady he would help her secure admission into Poly Nekede for the sum of 100k. He ate the Money and the lady never got “ad”, not to talk of “mission”.
Five weeks later.
I had reconciled my result, and in a month time, i would be posted for National service.
Since his roommate Bigie left, Tupac got another roommate. A she this time around. Her name was Kate. Yeah! The same Kate you know.
Kate had been frequenting Tupac’s room of lately. And when we asked Tupac, se would always answer us saying; “she be my sister from another mother, i no fit do her anything”, just because He and Kate was from the same village.
“guy where you go like make them post you go?” I asked Snoop as we sat at Big boyz cutz one afternoon.
“guy i go like make them post me go Lagos oh” Snoop answered.
“me sef oh” I said.
“me i go like make them post me go Abuja oh” Brainbox said.
“if to say Pkc no come bail you for station, you for dey hear dey talk say you go like make them post you go Abuja? Maybe na for Police station NYSC for post you go” I told Brainbox.
“guys i happy for una oh, me i never know when i go wear NYSC khaki, i never even get admission” Man envied us.
“no worry God go do am for you, nahim make Pkc say make i teach you how to barb, so if all of us go service, you go dey barb dey get money wey you go use arrange yourself for school” Snoop said.
“if you like make you use Talley dey barb people” I almost said.
“what of Baba jay, him go go service?” I asked.
“yes na, him don clear for FUTO, na FUTO him go sef” Brainbox answered.
“what of Pkc, him don clear for IMSU?” I asked the obvious.
“him no wan go service na, him say na God work him wan do, na Church NYSC go post am go” Man teased.
“what of Tega na?” I asked because i cared.
“him don go Warri finally, abi you no know say them expel am since from Poly Nekede” Man informed.
“i no know oh” I was shocked.
“them expel him and Opopo because school security report them say them be cultist” He added.
“but why i no know all this things since na?” I asked.
“na because you no wan know na” Snoop answered.
Being a cultist in the University wasn’t for the lily livered. Cultist always called non-cultist “Jew men”.
All Jew men always graduate from school after Four years, but not all cultist ends up graduating, is a known fact.
Both cultist and Jew men are capable of spilling over. But only cultist are expelled. And the cultist that are expelled are the ones that always wear cultism as a crown where ever they go.
“eyah!! So na only Man and Pkc go dey if all of us go” said Brainbox.
“and Pkc go dey sleep for house well well because our church wan open new parish for Nekede, and na Pkc go be the Pastor of the new parish” Snoop informed.
“Man go be the Assistant Pastor na” Brainbox teased.
“how i go be Assistant Pastor, you want make the church scatter?” Man said.
If Man were to be the Assistant Pastor, it would had been awesome. He would heal the sick, and even raise the dead with the powers of his Talley.
For a long while, i had not fell sick. But as i sat in the Barber’s shop in the evening of the next day, i found out that i was sick. Medicine had no cure for the disease. That disease was Nostalgia.
As i thought of the fun memories ab initio i came to Uzommiri, i smiled.
We went to watch premiership football at a viewing centre down the road, and as we returned, we met Tupac at the gate.
“where my 5k” He held My shirt and that of Brainbox.
“which 5k?” I was surprised.
“i owe you money, wetin be this one na?” Brainbox was getting pissed.
He left our shirts, with a bright smile all over his face.
“why you dey smile na” I thought he was mad.
“him don mad na, you no dey see as him dey smile” Brainbox noticed.
“na your Papa dey mad” Tupac cursed.
He brought out his phone and said; “make una come see something”.
He showed us a picture on his phone of him ridding on Kate, he showed us another picture of Kate giving him a B’.low job, and the last but not the the least was a picture of him licking Kate’s P’.ussy.
He had won the bet.
He had f’.ucked Kate. I envied him oh.
“oya make all of una go bring my 5k one by one” He spoke boldly.
“you sure say them this picture na real?” Brainbox doubted.
“Mumu!! person show you picture of when him dey wayah Kate, you dey ask whether na real” Man said.
“how you take snap the picture wey she no know say you dey snap her” I needed to know.
“i be sharp guy na, i no let her know na, i use my handkerchief cover some part of the phone as i dey snap, and i silent the camera of the phone sef” Tupac said.