Man Wey Dey Reason Episode 35 – Flow1759
As I walked the street one afternoon, an Idea dropped, “Flow why you no go give Florence make she help you market some of this necklace” that was the Idea.
As i walked towards Florence’s Boutique, i was rehearsing in my mind how my conversation with her would be like.
Flow: “hello”
Florence: “who are you?”
Flow: “don’t you remember me? I am Flowey”.(abi i resemble Micheal Jackson wey go do Plastic surgery?)
Florence: “i don’t know anybody by that name”.
Flow: “u don’t remember me? I am the guy you saw stealing, sorry, buying Akara the other day. I came here to buy boxers with my friend, remember?”
Florence: “Pls leave my boutique, i don’t know you”.
That could never happen, how would she deny ever knowing me?
“good afternoon, Florence” I greeted as i entered her boutique, “yes, how may i be of help to you?” Florence said. “don’t you remember me? I am Flowey” I said what i had earlier rehearsed. “yes i remember you, the guy i saw buying Akara at the Akara joint few weeks ago” She said.
I thought she said, “yes i remember you, the guy i saw stealing Akara at the Akara joint few weeks ago”, so i said, “i wasn’t stealing Akara oh, i was buying Akara”. “who said you stole Akara?” She said laughing. I laughed also and said, “i said that to make you laugh, that was on a lighter note”.
I had struck the Jugular. I had lighten up the atmosphere.
“so what are you here for?” She asked. “am here to introduce a lucrative business to you” I said, “you see, i am the marketing manager of a Jewellery marketing company here in Owerri, i came to show you some of our products for sale” I explained showing her the Jewelleries.
She was taking a look at the beautiful Jewelleries, and forgot she had opened her expressway. Her legs were wide open revealing her blue p’anties.
“so what is the name of your company?” She asked. I wasn’t paying attention to what she said, i was paying attention to her expressway. My d’ick stood wanting to zoom into her expressway.
“oboy see kpata oh” I said to myself.
“i said, what is the name of ur company?” She asked again. “Kpata” I responded without thinking straight. “the name of ur company is Kpata?” She inquired. “no, Kpatalico, Kpatalico is the name of my company” I said.
Kpata is Yoruba language means p’anties. What a name for a company? Kpatalico!!!
Kpatanla would had been better, because it means Mighty p’anties in Yoruba language.
“i want you to help me market some of these products in your boutique” I went straight to the point. “it depends on how much my percentage would be?” She said. “see ur mouth like percentage” I almost said.
We agreed at a percentage for her, and also a percentage for myself. As a “sharp” guy, i inflated the cost price of each brand of Jewellery, telling her that that was the company price.
I finally gave her about half of the Jewelleries i brought saying, “lemme go back to Kpatalico to get more Jewelleries”. “ok, its nice doing business with you” She said as she shook hands with me. As she shook my hand, i saw that her eyes went straight to my blood sucking shoes. Vampire shoes.
I left her boutique happily. I also concluded to head straight to a Male boutique to get myself a pair of shoes.
Because appearance matters, especially since i had automatically turned Marketing Manager of Two companies. Tupaco and Kpatalico.
“oboy how far na?” I greeted Man who i saw on my way to the Boutique. “where you dey go na?” Man asked me. “Follow me na, when we reach there you go know” I answered.
“you dey sell so?” I asked Man. “guy na only two necklace i don sell since we start this business oh” Man said with a frown. “how you go do am na? and Tupac say na next tomorrow him go go market, and him go like make we give am the money of the one wey we don sell” I said. “i go give am the money of the one wey i don sell na” Man said.
As we walked ahead, we say Brainbox, “Brainbox!! Brainbox!!” I called. Immediately the Ladies walking behind us heard me shouting Brainbox, they started Laughing. “why are u Ladies laughing?” i asked. “what kind of name is that?” One of them said. “its a Chinese name” I replied.
Truely, Brainbox really looked Chinese except for his Oblong head.
“how your market na?” I asked Brainbox as he came close. “oboy i don sell well well oh, i enter one female hostel, guy the girls for there just dey rush me, sotey some of them no even know when them begin touch my p’rick” Brainbox said.
“so as them dey touch ur p’rick, wetin you com do?” I inquired. “guy i no do anything oh, u know say na business i com for na, i no com for play” Brainbox replied. “you sure?” Man queried, “i sure na, but only say my p’rick stand small” Brainbox replied and we laughed.
As we entered the boutique, we met this hefty hunk, “Chiarman we wan buy shoe” I said. “whick kin shoe be that?” He asked. “choose any one you like here” he gestured.
I saw a fine shoe that was written “Kedu” “made in Italy”. The kedu sounded like an Italian name, so i asked for the price and paid.
After i had paid, it instantly dawned on me that there was a place called Aba. Spiritually, i saw “made in Italy” changed to “made in Aba”.
Spiritually also, i interpreted “Kedu” as “How are you” in Ibo Language.
I had played the sucker. The shoe was made in the Federal Republic of Aba. It was even given an Ibo name. KEDU.
“e be like say me sef go buy shoe oh, i no get shoe, since that day wey those MOPO come pack all our shoe, na Tupac shoe i just dey wear since” Brainbox said.
He too picked a fine shoe.
When i saw the name of the Shoe he picked, i realized my case was far better than his.
The name of the shoe he picked was Abania and it was made in Abania.
As we waited for change after paying, I saw from the corner of my eyes that Brainbox was admiring the beautiful wrist watches on display.
I heard Man cajoling the Boutique owner to help him market his jewelleries.
Before i could say Jack Robinson, the Boutique owner agreed to help him market the Jewelleries.
From the corner of my eyes, i saw something went into Brainbox’s mouth.
Suddenly, “hmmmmmmm, moke weeeeh deeeey go” Brainbox tapped me and said what i could hardly hear.
I used my Brain to figure that Brainbox wanted us to go home, so i rushed to collect our change.
As Brainbox continued gesturing for us to leave, i was pondering why he was so much in a haste to leave. Not until i saw how his cheeks bulged.
That was when i realized a wrist watch was in his mouth.