Man Wey Dey Reason Episode 13 – Flow1759
“make we collect groundnut wey we go chop na, i dey come make i collect am for Nkiru place” Brainbox suggested walking towards Nkiru’s shop.
Little did i know he was on a L102 mission. L102 that would graduate to L105.
As we stood by the gate gisting on how the match would be, at the same time waiting for Brainbox to come, a car came towards us with its head-lights on Full beam.
“who be dis big f’ool wey dey shine us light for eye” Man cursed “oga abeg off ur light jor” Bigie yelled.
Two hefty men on suit came out, bodyguards i suppose. Next, a chubby pot bellied man came out. Also a beautiful princess came out, Kate of course. She looked different because she was wearing a different hairdo.
At the sight of the pot bellied man, one would concluded he was a titled Man, because he was putting on an “eshi agu” ibo attire.
“chief!! Chief my darling” Kate said giving Chief a peck on his fleshy cheek.
We all stared at Kate and “her darling” as they were showing public display of Love. At that moment, i wasn’t responsible for controling my eyes but my eyes control itself to Kate’s l’aps, and my d’ick responded to the stimuli.
No wonder guys went on a bet for Kate’s “honey well”. I was sure no guy in the compound would taste Kate’s Honey well, even in dreamland, or so i tot.
“ehn Chief, these are the guys i was telling u about” Kate said pointing to our direction. As kate said that, the two hefty men came closer to us.
My mind had already displayed that i was shot on my right leg by one of the hefty men.
“wetin we do na” my spirit left my body and my body was gathering momentum to run.
“chief these are the guys i have been telling u about, they are my hostel mates” Kate repeated.
At that moment, i had already imagined the direction i would flee through. But it seemed my right leg instantly caught muscle pull.
A look at the hefty bodyguards made me almost cried. One of them was bringing out something from his suit inner pocket, i tot it was gun.
My “fear-fear” mind had already played a video of me been shot on the right leg.
“but wetin we do na? Abi Kate see my face that day wey we dey watch as dem dey f”uck her?” i tot.
I gathered momentum to run, despite the fact that my right leg had caught muscle pull. The same right leg that had been shot in my mind. Mehn! My legs were in jitters.
Even if i tried running, i wouldn’t go far before the hefty bodyguards would catch me.
My heartbeat didn’t only increase, my heart was melting as i was sweeting profusely. I was in a limbo.
As the bodyguards came closer, i gather momentum, and decided i would flee with gear five, because woe betide me if i use gear one, it would be too slow.
“these are my beloved hostel mates” Kate said.
I tot i had “behead” in place of “beloved”. “so naso my head go take go!!” i tot.
If i die now, hell would sure welcome a visitor, i was sure of that.
“these are my hostel mates, i love them so much” Kate said with a smile on her face.
This time, i heard her right.
The bodyguards weren’t even heading to our direction at the first place, they were going to meet their boss.
See wetin fear dey cause. I don already get heart attack.
“how are u!! How are u!! How are u!!” was what Chief said as he shook hands with us, one after the other.
As i shook his hand, i felt how chilled his hand was. “mehn!! big man good oh, see as dis man hand cold like pure water” i tot.
“ehen, lemme give u guys something na, something for refreshment” Chief said.
On hearing “refreshment”, i was refreshed internally and the muscle pull instantly ceased.
Chief brought out a bunch of 500naira note and gave to Bigie. “chief chief!! Chief chief!!” we hailed.
As chief gave the money to Bigie, i counted the money from a distance with my eyes, and i concluded it to be 20k. “Bigie na 20k dey there oh, if u thief any money for there ehn, i go know oh” i almost said.
“chief chief!! Chief chief!!” we cheered as Chief and his “darling” Kate walked into the compound. The bodyguards also followed.
Just when i was crying to God to provide money for me, oweing to the fact that the Notorious BIG robbed me, God heard my cry. Atleast my pocket would be enriched with not less than 3500naira in the near future, or so i tot.
“wetin Brainbox still dey do for Nkiru shop na” Snoop suddenly said.
Like the pidgin English adage our Mum always told us when we were younger goes; “pesin wey no dey house when Papa come back from work no go chop wetin Papa bring come from work”.
True talk!! Since Brainbox wasn’t around when we recieved the money, he wouldn’t partake of it, so my selfish mind tot.
Not knowing the same Brainbox was “looting” for us all, a looting that would almost land all of us in trouble, and a looting that would almost cost him his life.
“make we dey go, make we leave Brainbox, him go come meet us” Bigie said.
“i dey come make i go see wetin him dey do for Nkiru shop” Man said as he walked towards Nkiru’s shop.
“make una wait for me, make i go house go carry my phone” Snoop said leaving us to go get his phone at home.
I kept my eyes on Bigie althrough. because all hell would be let losed if he dare tampered with the money Chief gave us.
Few seconds later, Man returned informing us that Brainbox was on a “looting” mission, that one of us should go to the back of the Shop, that Brainbox would soon start throwing “loots” over the fence.
How f’oolish of us, instead of one person to go, we all went to the back of the shop. We stood there for about a minute, and no “looting message” from Brainbox.
“abi him don forget say we dey here?” i said.
Before i finished saying that, a 10naira pack of groundnut landed on my head and fell to the ground.
Next was a 50naira loaf of bread. I picked them both and transferred to Bigie who transferred them to his pocket.
Then came two 10naira packs of ground. I picked them both, transferred them to Bigie who tranferred them to his pocket.
Two 50naira loaf of bread fell to the ground after few seconds. I picked them both, transferred to Bigie who transferred them to his pocket.
“e don do na” i said oweing to the fact that Bigie’s pocket had no more space to contain the groundnut and bread. Although Bigie’s combat trouser had several pockets, we still needed “reinforcement”.
We waited for a minute, and Brainbox didn’t throw anything, “e be like say him don stop oh” i told Bigie. Before i finished saying that, “pooooooaaaaaaaah” it was raining on me from Above, not of water but of groundnut.
“Man!! Come follow us pack dis plenty groundnut oh” i said to Man who was standing at a corner watching if someone was coming.
We picked all the 10naira packs of groundnut and Man’s pocket couldn’t contain any more groundnut, so Bigie removed the money Chief gave us from his pocket and gave it to me, and we forcefully put in more groundnut to his pocket.
Since the Three quarter short i was putting on had no pocket, in just left the money hanging in the waist band of my boxers.
Before i could say Jack Robinson, i heard a voice, “who dey there!!” Haruna shouted from a corner.
Bigie and Man madly dashed to a nearby bush to hide.
I was instantly crippled.
I couldn’t find my legs.
“i say who dey there!!” Haruna shouted again.
“na me oh, na Flow” i replied him.
“Wetin u dey do there?” he asked, “i dey piss” i lied.
“Why you no piss for toilet?” he was beginning to ask too much questions, “piss dey catch me and i no wan go house, nahim make me dey piss here” i replied.
Just when i tot we were free, that we weren’t victims but victors of L105 or rather L104, i heard, “thief oh!! Thief!!, e don thief my groundnut finish oh!!” it was Nkiru shouting.
I was sure it wasn’t Bigie, neither was it Man that Nkiru was calling thief because i could see them both where they were hiding from where i stood. Who then could it be?
Oh my world!! Brainbox.