Just After I Said I Do Episode 10
written by Iniola’s Corner
I stood still at the main entrance as I watched my husband drive out
my mother inlaw out of the compound with our second car, for minutes I
was thoughtless, my brain seems to have gone pale and all I could do was
to stare at the direction of the gate as I watched our gateman who was
in his early 50s close the main gate as soon as my husband drove off.
My tears began to show up gradually, I was confused than ever before, it
all seem things are no longer working for me, my world is falling apart
and I could feel my heart pounding and racing so very fast and in no
time I found myself sitting on the floor at the entrance as I whisper
silently in tears with my head stocked into my knee length short.
…”Lord Jesus, please this is just too much for me”…
I kept on repeating the word endlessly over and over again until the
masculine voice of the gateman calling “madam” caught my attention… I
quickly raised my head and there he is, standing right beside me with
his two hands folded, I gently cleaned my messy face with my palm as I
tried to call out his name with my broken voice without even making an
attempt to stand up from where I was sitting…. “baba olorunwa”… And just
immediately I called out his name, it was as if the name was a catalyst
that triggered my tears again, I broke down in tears and I began to ask
him in a meek tone in Yoruba language
….” se looto niwipe olorun Sewa?…. (is it true that God still exist?)
He gently bend towards my direction and helped me on my feet without
saying a word, he opened the door leading to the sitting room and all I
could do was to follow him gently like a robot as he guides me and made
me sit in one of the couch. He made sure I stopped crying and I was in a
perfect order before he asked. ….”can I take my sit Madam?”…. I’ve
always been shocked at the meekness of this man, he’s old enough to be
my father and yet he won’t stop calling me Madam even after several
pleas from me that I’ll prefer to be called by my name. And now, he’s
asking for permission before he could even take his sit after helping me
stop crying outside and finding my way inside. I couldn’t say a single
word and all I just did was to not my head in agreement as I looked at
him in amazement.
He carefully took his sit on the couch right in front of me and in no
time he began to talk to me like a father in his lowest tone.
….”Hhhmm, my dear, I must commend your strength. You are a very strong woman….
And then I looked at him directly in the eye, forgetting my relationship
with him and all I could see was a father and I muttered so softly
feeling my tears on my cheeks
…..”No baba, I am not strong anymore, baba I am not. My strength is
failing me, my frustration is taking over me, I am becoming weak in all
aspect and I am afraid I might break down anytime soon”……
Now I could see his face light up at the sound of my voice, and a deep
smile appeared on his face and I began to wonder what was actually funny
with all these emotional words I have poured down, and I began to look
at him.
….”yes, your strength will definitely fail you, infact I never expected
your strength to have brought you this far in this marriage, and that is
why I said you’re a strong lady earlier… And you talked about
frustration, yes they’ll definitely take over you, because you allowed
and gave way for them. And you think you can pull through all these with
your human strength. No way!… My dear, no human strength can stand the
frustration that comes along with a wrong marriage. I haven’t come
across such strength.
And you see, your weakness. They will definitely attack all areas of
your life, and that’s because all you do is to cry away your God given
strength in the place of prayer… (he pursed for a while, and gently
removed his old looking security cap and place it on one arm of the
couch and he continued talking)
I have been working with your family ever since you both got married and
I am aware of all that you’re going through in this house.
I use to think you’re a Christian who knows what Christianity really
means, yes I used to think you have a full understanding of who you
truly are in the hands of our maker, not until I see you cry about
endlessly in the house thinking you’re pouring your heart to God..
“My dear,
Your tears doesn’t show God how bad you need him to intervene in your
situation, it only show him how little your understanding of his word
is”…
I was surprised to see baba olorunwa talk this way and all I could just do was stare at him as he was talking.
….” you should know by now that your marriage to that young man is a life time contract.
Now, I need you to ask yourself these questions..
Am I going to continue in my tears in the place of prayer for this life time contract that I have signed.
Am I going to keep on pitying myself throughout my life time because I got married to the wrong person?
He paused for a while and looked at me and all I could do in return was
to allow my tears flow in amazement as I already lost my words and in no
time he continued again.
….” yes, initially he was not meant for you, but your vows at the altar
has automatically made him yours whether you like it or not. And your
tears can never change that even if you cry 24/7 in the place of
prayer”….
And all of a sudden I found my words as I stood up as though I was
been triggered from my couch and before I knew it, I already found
myself at his feet crying like a baby
….”baba what should I do, I have been asking for mercy, I’ve been asking God for mercy”…..
He then smiled at my words and drew me closer a little bit.
….”my daughter, no amount of plea for mercy can change the fact that
you’re married to the wrong person. All mercy can do for you is to
sustain you through your journey in this marriage, plea for mercy can
not change who your spouse is”….
My face lighted up in great surprise and I looked at him with great
shock to affirm if I just heard him right. He looked back at me with a
smile and nodded in assurance that I heard him perfectly right.
……”Yes, it can’t. Plea for mercy Can not change him,
My dear daughter, the earlier you understand the fact that your husband
is still a clay in the Potter’s hand, the better for you.
Now I am going to leave you with these words from Papa Zion breed
” tears is a sign of weakness and lack of knowledge, instead of crying,
why not speak in tongues, infact groan in tongues, the solution isn’t in
crying like a baby. Cry in tongues!… Cry in tongues!!…..
He stood up, dusted his security cap and placed it gently on his head
and I watched him as he walked gently out of the house… And for several
minutes I was just there with my head bowed.
************************
It’s been several weeks now that mama left the house and ever since
she left, my husband and I have practically become house mates and not
soul mates. I couldn’t look at him directly in the eye and he couldn’t
do the same.
My home became a place where talking and happiness is forbidden and the
only thing that talks is our TV. I tried my best to plead over and over
again with Raph, but he wouldn’t even say a word to me.
Food were wasting every blessed day because he has stopped eating ever
since his mum left and I won’t stop cooking too just because I was
hoping he’ll eat one day.
Gradually our differences began to show up in the society and even in
the church and that’s because he has even stopped his pretence about all
being fine with our marriage as he no longer wait for me to follow him
to church or follow him back from church, no more same attire and
sitting together on sundays and weekly services. And before I knew it,
female ministers and the pastors wife began to ask if all is well with
my family, and all I’ll always say is “we’re perfectly OK ma” with
smiles.
I practically lost everything when I started my prayer seven days ago and all I kept on saying was…. ” lord, Raphael is a clay in your hands, please mold him into your perfect will for me, mold him into the man you have always wished for me, please remold him into the bone of my bones and the flesh of my flesh “….
Yes I had stopped crying, I had stopped pitying myself and I have
taken up the courage and strength to keep on interceding for him for
several weeks now, and all of a sudden my husband stopped sleeping at
home, all he does is to come home very early in the morning to take his
bath and change his clothes, then off he went till the next morning
again.
I have been up all night like I have always been, praying for him. But
this time around I prayed my way all through without sleep, and that’s
because, today happens to be our 3rd wedding anniversary.
… I quickly jumped up from the bed as I heard the horn of the car
from my sleep, I had actually fell asleep in the place of prayer very
early this morning. I looked at the time and it’s past 10:00am already. I
rushed to the window to check through if it was my husband who has
actually come home to have his bath as usual. I felt so disappointed as I
saw the mechanic driving out our second car, it has been faulty for
days now.
It’s after ten already and even though I had slept off I am very sure my
husband hasn’t come home to take his bath yet. My tears gave way and I
began to wonder why Raph has been coming home as early as 6:00 o clock
every other day to take his bath, but he hasn’t showed up by 10:00 today
which happens to be our third wedding anniversary.
I walked gently to the sitting room in my pyjamas with tears as I whisper softly
….” Lord please, it’s our third wedding anniversary, three years ago, by
this time we were already making our marriage vows, please remold my
husband into your perfect will for me and bring him back home “…
I walked slowly towards our wedding pictures hanged on the wall and all
of a sudden I froze, I felt my pulse increasing and it was just as if
the ground should just open and take me up. I began to develop goose
bumps as I heard my husband’s voice from behind.
I couldn’t look back, I became extremely scared and my shock took over
as I have never heard Raph talked like that before in my three years of
getting married to him
…” I am home baby, I am back home finally.
The Potter has worked on me, I had an encounter with him already, he has
molded me into your perfect will darling. He has broken me for the past
seven days and now he’s giving you the go ahead to mold me into
whatever you want me to be as a husband…..
I managed to turn around to confirm if I wasn’t dreaming, could God be
this real! My sight became blur due to my tears and I couldn’t see
clearly, I tried to wipe them off and standing right before me in the
reality was my very own Raphael Ajibade. My tears came afresh and I
couldn’t even tell if they were tears of joy, shock or pains. He walked
towards me as gently as ever and for the first time in my life, I saw a
line of tears on my husband’s cheek.
….” no you’re not dreaming baby, it’s your Raph (I didn’t remember to
tell you I fondly call him “my Raph” when we just got married) yes it’s
your Raph baby. I’m very sorry, please forgive me. I know I have not
been your dream husband for three years now, but right now, the Potter
has taken over….
He paused for a while and off he went on his knees
…” yes, the Potter has taken over, and I am renewing my marriage vows to
you this very moment just the way I did three years ago, to love and to
cherish you like the queen that you are, in sickness and in pain, at
all times and seasons, to respect you always, I’ll be your pillar of
support in all your endeavors, I’ll speak and stand for you, i’ll
protect you like a father, I’ll guide you jealously like a brother and
I’ll love you endlessly like a husband till death do us part…..
In no time my tears became so real, I was shocked at how God does his
things, I was shivering and within the twinkle of an eye I found myself
on my knees too but this time it wasn’t for prayers, I fell on my knees
in my husband’s arms we both fell on the floor together in tears and
all I could say was
…”thank you jesus, thank you Jesus for seeing the depth of my heart and loving me the same”….
I looked directly at my Raph in the eye, and I held his cheeks in my
palms as soft and gentle as I can and I muttered these words
….” Baby, I won’t mold you into what I want, I’ll allow God himself mold
you into what he wants for me…. I am ready to spend the rest of my life
with you and Jesus with or without kids”…
And then our tears were just making ways, I could feel his warm and
tender palm making it way into my hair and I began to feel like the real
wife I have been craving for, for years now!
Yes I found grace, my marriage was restored, my husband was remolded…. Dearie, you might not have the opportunity to pull through the way I pulled through, God might not give you the second chance to remold when you make your mistake and that is why you have to take your time to PRAY, HEAR and DISCERN very well before you say I DO, before you make those marriage vows be very sure you are doing it with the right person.
Now to those who have made the vows already to the wrong person, no amount of tears can change the fact that you’re married to him or her already,
Pick up the clays of your spouse and return it right away to the potter for remolding. It is never too late!!!
Thanks to Iniola’s Corner for this wonderful inspirational story…..
God Bless Her….
Thanks for going along with JUST AFTER I SAID I DO’ Series
My prayer for our singles is that they won’t miss it in the place of choosing.
I hope we all gained from this story so
*I will like us to comment one or two lessons we gained from the series*……
Amazing inspirational story, I’ve learnt a lot from this story, God bless the writer, Lord Jesus I depend on you to mould my spouse to what you need for me.
Hummm so inspiring God please re mould us.
God of solution is what every home passing through problems need. Bless d writer n 0pradre
I can’t help but thank you for this inspiration story ……have learnt alot,thanks once again
Inspiration story…. I think am a victim….. thanks opradre
Amazing, thanks so much. Was almost, but mercy brought me back, thou still waiting but i know he will surely settles me. God bless you ma’am.
Thank you soooo much for this series… God bless you.
May God help me to make the right decision.
The prayer is for all married people, not just those who missed it
Vry inspiratnal n motivatnal story kep it up
THANK YOU SO MUCH. MAYGOD HELP ME TO MAKE THE RIGHT CHOICE
Comment:I have learnt a lot from this God bless the writer
Thanks sweetie
That is really a lesson for we singles
Thank you ma.
Thank u writer