Man Wey Dey Reason Episode 56 – Flow1759
She bent down to pick up the rope and i caught a pictorial view of her a’.ss.
“help me tie it here pls” she pleaded.
As i collected the rope from her, the warmth of her hand increased my blood pressure, my cholesterol level also increased.
I don already full my pocket with c’.ondom, because i had been noticing the “Green light” she always beamed anytime i came around.
She stood close to me, backing me, as i tied the rope, my erected d’ick was evenly stroking her soft a’.ss.
“pls take it easy” she said.
“wetin i go take easy? Na the rope wey i dey tie for up, abi na as my p’rick dey rub you bakassi” I almost said.
“i will” I muttered.
At that moment, i was already losing grip of the rope because of the sweet sensation my brain was recieving.
I took a panoramic view to see her neat c’.leavage staring at me smiling. I smiled back and assured myself; “am coming for you”.
From all indications, she was ready to give it to me just how i wanted it. If not for anything, but for the cold weather.
“are you through” She muttered.
The perfume she wore smelled nicely that it made my d’ick stood harder.
“almost!” I replied. I was 75% sure i was “almost” close to taking her clothes off.
From above, my hand moved to touch her b’,reast, i thought she would make a statement like; “why did you do that”, instead I heard her giggled.
That was an approval, so i f’,ondled first with my right hand, and then with both hands.
She gave me a hand as i fumbled to remove her gown.
At the sight of her huge b’.reast, i muttered, “my oh my!!”.
My mouth watered for a kiss. I did kissed. I kissed and was lost in the kiss.
The blue light that shone on us made me saw nothing but B’.reast! B’.reast!! B’.reast!!. I saw so many b’.reast like i was seeing double.
I moved a finger to her n’.ipple and tickle it a bit, she moaned in response, and i removed my T-shirt to reveal my thick chest. And also my seven-packs, which she c’aressed with so much dexterity.
She was neatly shaved down there, while i was a Sahara desert. Her p’.ussy looked so juicy and inviting.
As i removed my trouser, my erected d’ick hurried out of my boxers like a Spring.
As she c’aressed my d’ick, i couldn’t hold back, so i quickly removed a pack of C.’ondom from my trouser pocket and wore it. I no know whether na me dey wear C’.ondon, abi na C’.ondom dey wear me oh.
At that moment, my d’.ick was about 10inches long, and i saw that it seemed her p’.ussy was Speaking Swahili.
She c’aressed my d’ick again as i moved to her, hungry for action. She pushed me, and i lazily landed on a table by the corner.
It was as if i went to the Gym to work out my d’ick before i came to see her that evening, the muscles in my d’ick was as hard as Aso rock.
She climbed me and i held her l’.aps with my both hands so she wouldn’t fall off, breaking my d’ick in the process.
She pounded me like a Yoruba woman would do to Iyan.
Iyan means Pounded Yam. If you think say i dey lie, ask anybody from Ekiti state.
Up and down, she went moaning so loud that i thought someone passing by might hear us.
Nobody would pass by, i was sure, unless of course that person was with an Unbrella because it was raining heavily.
She continued pounding, not minding that the table i sat on was shaky.
I glanced at the door to see that it wasn’t locked, that was less a problem, the main problem at that moment was that i was on the verge of falling off the table.
Her huge pair of b’.reast jumped up and down as she pounded harder, so i thought it right to hold them from pulling off. I started f’.ondling them.
But it seemed my f’.ondling was really hurting her unlike before, she removed my both hands, holding them, making it looked like she was riding a Power Bike.
Her holding my both hands and riding was fun, but i feared that i might fall off the shaky plastic table and one of the high-heel shoes on the floor might pierce through my a’.sshole.
From the table, we moved to the floor. If i was Manchester United and she was Chelsea Fc, the floor was my Old Tradford. Her striker Torres scored a goal on the table because i wasn’t comfortable, while my striker Roney scored a hat-trick on the floor. I won the UEFA Champions league.
My trophy was the bulk of clothes she gave me. Jeans, T-shirts, long sleeves, short sleeves, and even face caps filled the bag.
I collected my Tupaco and Kpatalico Jewelleries money from her and left her Boutique after the rain stopped.
I thought of not taking the clothes home to my stingy friends, but i thought otherwise because there was enough to go round, and because the clothes were strictly “Osho free”.
Osho free means Free of charge.
On my way, i stopped over at an electrical equipment store to buy Kate’s socket.
I know say una been dey think say na Kate i wayah, so i for win the money wey guys bet for her head. Well, sorry to disappoint you guys. That was how it went.
“better things dey happen to us this days oh, the other day na Flow bring better-better cloth for us, now see fine-fine cloth wey Tega bring for us” Brainbox said as we were taking our pick from the fine clothes Tega brought home.
I and Brainbox almost tore a fine Jeans trouser as we practically fought over it.
“guy you don take one Jeans already, leave this one for me na” I pulled the Jeans from him.
“forget that thing abeg, no be me first collect am?” said the Coconut headed Brainbox.
Brainbox’s head was a picture perfect of either Coconut or Water Melon, or a little bit of both. Little wonder he told us he was the Head boy when he was in secondary school.
If the criterion for appointing one as a Head boy was how Big the person’s head was, i would had been appointed the Assistant Head boy when i was in secondary school, to assist “Ori oh” who for sure would had been the Head boy.
My head was like Satellite dish when i was in Junior Secondary School, but as i grew older, the Satellite dish grew smaller, yet nobody in the whole school was able to take the second position from me, i comfortably took charge as the “Second man in Command” in the kingdom of Head.
Unlike Ori oh, my head was perfect for my well built body, and cute also, depending on your definition of “cute”.
Ori oh’s head was like the head of “The Brain” in the Cartoon series “Pinky and the Brain”.
Like The Brain, he was short. He was also u’gly, dark in complexion, and a Bulldog look-alike.
Ori is a Yoruba word and it means Head. “Oh” that was added to the “Ori” is an Exclamation.
“guy you don collect one Jeans already na, leave this one for Flow na” Man said.
After much argument, the Coconut head master reluctantly left the Jeans for me.
“Tega you don try as you give us cloth, God go sama you blessing” Snoop said.
Sama isn’t the name of a Spainish footballer, i no know how i go explain am for una oh, make i try sha, it is what is said to refer to when something positive is given abundantly to someone. Take note of the word “positive”, because for instance, if an Army man land you like 20 slaps in a day, you will be very s’tupid going around telling people the Army man “sama” you slaps.
“thank Oluwa oh, na Oluwa do am” Tega replied.
“shey na Oluwa carry you go Nwanyi Asaba place?” I needed not to say that.
“make una no worry, more of this dey come” Opopo promised.
“yahoo business na better business oh, money dey am, but i no fit do am” I told myself.
An hour later.
Baba jay and Snoop went to resume duty at the barber’s shop. Brainbox went to Poly Nekede to write the exam of the course he was spilling over. Man went to visit his younger sister in IMSU. Pkc had not been home for about a week.
“make i go baf” Tega announced.
“make i sleep small” I tried to catch some sleep.
I closed my eyes trying to force sleep, but it was miles away from me.
I thought of going to Tupac and Bigie’s room, but i thought otherwise because they might be gambling and i might be tempted to join them, in the process the 10k with me might develop wings.
I thought of going to Big boys cutz to gist with Baba jay and Snoop, but the weather was too hot for a gist.
So i lay on the bed with my eyes closed still pleading with sleep to come.
“Opopo come!” Tega called from the bathroom.
Few seconds later, i heard the bathroom door shut.
Not up to 5minutes later, i heard a noise like someone was moaning.
“this Kate sef, this kin hot afternoon nahim person dey wayah her” I said within, thinking it was Kate that was moaning.
Suddenly i heard, “Papa Ejima good afternon oh” it was Kate greeting Papa Ejima outside.
That was when it dawned on me that Kate wasn’t the person moaning.
I stood up, tip toed and stuck my ears to the window, i noticed the moaning wasn’t coming from Kate’s room, neither was it coming from Papa Ejima’s room. It seemed it was coming from within the room.
“this Tega and Opopo una bad oh, una dey watch b’lue film for inside bathroom and una no call me make i follow una watch” I said to myself.
I tip toed to the bathroom door to “flatscreen” if Tega and Opopo were watching B’lue film on their phone.
What i saw! What i saw!! What i saw!! Even if i had hundred mouths, i still wouldn’t be able to narrate.
I saw S’odomy.
Tega was giving Opopo d’og style.
I wept.
Save Opopo, Tega didn’t look like “Marvin g’ay” to me.
“them no dey write am for face oh” I told myself.
Why must “Fame” and “Money” be identical twins with their elder brother and sister as G’.ayism and L’.esbianism? Is a question for Google.
As i continued watching how Tega rammed Opopo so hard from behind, i promised myself that Tega would never sleep by my side at night. Never!!
From that day, i hated Tega like poo, and i hated Opopo like fart.
After we were paid Big boys cutz stipend for the previous week, i and Brainbox was called to the “bar” one evening.
“guy you sure say we go go service so?” said Brainbox.
“why we no go go service? We go go na” I replied.
“guy our department no wan even send us go service, even those wey their result complete never go service, talk less of us wey get spill over” Brainbox complained.
It had totally escaped my memory that i had Phy442 exam to write in two weeks time, what Brainbox said reminded me that i was a spill-over student and not a Rice and Beans student.
“no be you dey talk before say no be say person get certificate mean say the person go rich” I altered.
“guy Asambodo good oh” He agreed.
Asambodo is not the name of Australian currency, it is an Ibo word meaning “Certificate”.
“guy i enter one Boutique go market my necklace, naso i see Tega and Opopo there oh, guy you know wetin com happen?” Brainbox made an incomplete statement.
I thought he wanted to say, Opopo and Tega drilled into his a”sshole in the Boutique in broad daylight.
“two of them f’.uck you?” I almost asked.
“wetin happen na?” I inquired.
“them buy one fine shoe for me oh, them even buy one expensive perfume for me sef” Brainbox informed.
“and you collect?” I needed to know.
“who no like better thing! I collect na” He smiled.
“no worry them go soon start to wayah you for nyash, na that time you go know say Khaki no be leather, abi you no know say that perfume fit be g’ay perfume, when you spray am you go just begin to dey like Opopo and Tega” I almost said.
Talk of the Devils, and they came.
“Flow how far?” Tega stretched out his hand for a handshake.
“guy why you wan shake me na, abi i resemble g’ay” I almost said.
I reluctantly shook him, and he forgot his hand on mine.
In my mind, i was thinking he was passing “g’ay current” to me, so i quickly withdrew my hand.
“Flow how far na” Opopo shook my hands.
“i dey fine Marvin g’ay” I nearly replied.
Imagine both of them f’.ucking and at the same time playing a Marvin g’ay song. Ohlala!! It would be a g’aylicious experience.
“we say make we drink na, make we enjoy ourself na” I said.
“make we sef follow una drink na” They both sat down.
“make una follow us na, but make una no spread g’ay disease give us oh” I nearly said.
“make una join us na, there is Love in sharing” Brainbox said.
“Love in wetin? You want Love? If Opopo and Tega Love you na you go run oh” I felt like telling Brainbox.
“Barman, bring beer for all of us, you go bring pepper soup for all of us sef” Tega ordered.
“guy wey your motor na?” I asked Opopo as we drank on.
“the thing get small problem, e dey for mechanic” He replied.
“how that your fine motor go get problem? Abi your Jaz no dey work again?” I almost said.
“Jaz” is not referring to the music genre, it is said to refer to getting fame, power, money, love in diabolical means.
I was glad i wore my “drinking cap” that evening. So many bottles of Udeme saw the skies, i think about 18bottles.
Don’t get it twisted, the 18bottles wasn’t drank by Mr Flow Udeme alone, Mr Opopo Udeme and Mr Tega Udeme drank “Udeme” too. The big Udeme.
The bottles of Udeme i drank sent home the four plates of pepper soup i took. I so wished Man came with us to drink that evening. He couldn’t come with us because he was the Cook for that evening, Pkc was around with some Pastor friends of his. With additional mouths to feed, Man needed to prepare more food.
As we walked home, sorry!! they walked home, while i jumped home. As i jumped home, i noticed that the atmosphere was well lite, there was light in every nook and cranny, even in my shoes.
“but God is great oh, how God take make light sef” I said.
“God na Chairman” Opopo stated.
The Full-Moon lite the night that i thought the night was fast spent.
“wetin be time?” I asked.
“time na 9:30” Tega answered.
“i no go sleep for our room oh, i go sleep for them Tupac room” I informed. “me too oh” Brainbox said.
“why una no wan sleep there?” Tega asked.
“space no go dey for our room na, Pkc bring two pastors come house” Brainbox said.
“so na because him bring two pastor come house nahim make me no go sleep for house? For wetin na? House wey my money dey for house rent? Abeg Opopo make we go house jor, we go sleep for house, we no dey sleep for another person room” Tega yelled.
“your money dey for the house rent na, our own money no join” I told him.
What we never knew was that Opopo and Tega would be a “disgrace” to Pkc in the presence of his Pastor friends.