MY BABY HUSBAND
Episode 30
© Ayo Omolayo
My alarm rang but I wasn’t ready to answer it. I rolled on the bed and reached for it. I quickly put it off and covered myself with the blanket very well.
“Look at this girl oooo!” That was what I heard before a painful slap greeted me on my thighs.
“Jesus!” I shouted and sat up.
Susan was giving me a stern look. I had to call my driver to bring Tina when I woke up. But I wasn’t ready to leave this great woman of God, so I spent the night at my mentor’s house.
We talked and talked about alot of things till it became late. Joseph and Anthony shared the same room while I was so privileged to share the visitor’s room with Susan.
I was still looking at Susan when suddenly, it was getting dark. I drifted into another round of sleep while sitting up on the bed.
What woke me up was a hot slap on my thighs.
“Jesus!” I screamed.
“Call that name very well oooo! You have the guts to sleep abi?” Susan said angrily.
“Mummy! I’m sorry! I’m so tired right now!” I said, rubbing my hurting thighs to ease the pain.
“So tired? If this house was on fire, would you remain in bed claiming you’re tired? Won’t you jump out of your beauty sleep and look for a way out of the fire?” She asked.
I didn’t know if I answered her. All I knew was that I heard the question, but my heavy eyes did not allow me remember to give her an answer.
It was another slap on the same place on my thighs that brought me back.
“Mummy Susan!” I shouted as it landed on me.
“By the time I’m done with you! You’ll be shouting grandma Susan!” She said sarcastically and made to hit me again. I quickly ran out of the bed but fell on the floor.
“Get up!” She shouted as she rushed to meet me.
I quickly rose to my feet. My eyes were completely alert right now.
” I said, If this house was on fire, would you remain in bed claiming you’re tired? Won’t you jump out of your beauty sleep and look for a way out of the fire?” She asked.
“Yes ma! I would get up and escape from the fire!” I replied, still rubbing my thighs.
“Cris! Your destiny is under attack and you’re busy sleeping, telling yourself you’re tired! Cris! You’re lucky I’m in a good mood. Your mentor is very gentle! I would have beaten you so much that, anytime your alarm rings and you’re still in bed, it’s my face you’ll remember.
“I’m sorry mummy!” I apologized and bent my knees slightly.
“Where will the strength to get up and run for your life come from?” She asked.
“I’m sorry ma!”
“Listen to me! Tiredness is a thing of the mind! What did I say?”
“Tiredness is a thing of the mind!” I answered.
“If you allow the devil tell you that you’re tired, then you’ll be crippled by tiredness. But if you refused to agree with him and rise up to pray, then you’ll discover that those feelings were demonic schemes to keep you prayer less. Satan will always and never stop trying to make believers prayerless. Your destiny is under attack and you’re here sleeping. There’s a battle for your soul in the realm of the spirit and you’re sleeping.
What kind of demonic sleep is that? Who told you that you’re tired. An evil spirit is busy whispering into your ears to go back to sleep and you’re nodding in agreement. Cris! This is 3:30am. I want to come back here and meet you praying or studying the Bible or else! I will beat spiritual lukewarmness out of you this morning. You don’t want to be hot abi? We’ll force you to be hot! For your information, you cannot be cold! So start consoling your lukewarm nature. She’s in the wrong hands”, she said and walked out of the room.
I stood watching. Did Mummy Susan beat me up like a kid? At least, as a woman of God, she’s not supposed to cause me physical pain.
“I WOULD HAVE DONE MORE THAN THAT IF SHE HADN’T INTERVENED”.
“Ha! Lord I’m sorry! But she’s a woman of God na! She’s not supposed to treat me like this!”
“FOR THE LORD CHASTISES WHOM HE LOVES AND CORRECTS THEM THAT ARE SO DEAR TO HIM! DOES THAT ANSWER YOUR QUESTION?”
I nodded.
“SO CAN WE START?”
“Yes sir!” I replied still rubbing my thighs.
“Nawa ooo! This woman of God slap dey pain ooo!” I said within me.
“NA HIM GOOD FOR YOU! SLEEPI SLEEPI!”
I wanted to laugh but witheld myself from doing so. I knew God as a God that meant complete business. I don’t think he has the time to watch me laugh when it was time for serious prayers. I need to act very serious if I must spend quality time with him or get his attention.
“CRIS! YOU CAN PRETEND WITH ANYONE OUT THERE, BUT NEVER TRY IT WITH ME! I CAN SEE YOUR THOUGHTS VERY WELL! WHO DO YOU WANT TO IMPRESS BY BONNING YOUR FACE?”
“Would you prefer me laughing when I’m in a battlefield?”I asked.
“STOP PRETENDING TO BE SPIRITUAL! LAUGHING, SMILING AND TALKING WHEN YOU’RE IN THE PRESENCE OF YOUR HEAVENLY FATHER IS NOT CARNALITY”.
Immediately, a scripture popped up in my mind.
“Psalms 16:11. Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence is fullness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore”.
“SO STOP THE PRETENCE AND HAVE FUN IN MY PRESENCE! SMILE LIKE YOU WOULD WHEN A FRIEND SAYS SOMETHING FUNNY. LAUGH WHEN SOMETHING TICKLES YOUR SENSE OF HUMOUR. AND EXPRESS YOUR EXCITEMENT WHEN YOU’RE HAPPY!”
“Okay sir!” I replied and began with worship songs. Soon I found myself praying in tongues.
“NOW CARRY YOUR BIBLE!” Came the gentle whisper.
“Yes Lord!” I said and rounded up the prayers.
I looked at the clock on the wall and realized I had prayed for one hour. I was surprised. It had been long I was able to do so.
I sat down and opened the bible.
“Where Lord?” I asked, flipping the pages.
“OPEN TO SONGS OF SOLOMON! START FROM CHAPTER TWO”
I opened and arrived at the place and started reading.
“I am the rose of Sharon, and the lily of the valleys.
Verse 2. As the lily among thorns, so is my love among the daughters.
Verse 3. As the apple tree among the trees of the wood, so is my beloved among the sons. I sat down under his shadow with great delight, and his fruit was sweet to my taste.
Verse 4. He brought me to the banqueting house, and his banner over me was love.
Verse 5. Stay me with flagons, comfort me with apples: for I am sick of love.
Verse 6. His left hand is under my head, and his right hand doth embrace me”.
“CRIS YOUR ARE RUSHING THIS BIBLE! ARE YOU LATE FOR WORK?”
“No! I answered.
“THEN WHY ARE YOU RUSHING ME? CALM DOWN AND LET’S ENJOY THIS BREAD OF LIFE TOGETHER!”
“I’m sorry Lord!”
“I NEED YOU TO READ JUST TWO VERSES. FIRST, READ VERSE ONE!”
“I am the rose of Sharon, and the lily of the valleys”.
“SOLOMON CALLED ME THE ROSE OF SHARON. WHAT NAME ARE YOU GOING TO CALL ME?”
I was dumbfounded. What was he referring to?
“CRIS! EVERY PERSON ON EARTH WHO SERVED ME HAD A SPECIAL NAME THEY CALLED ME. ABRAHAM CALLED ME JEHOVAH JIREH. JACOB CALLED ME EL ELOHE ISRAEL. SO WHAT ABOUT YOU? WHERE’S MY PET NAME?”
I was almost laughing, but held it again.
“WHO ARE YOU BONNING FACE FOR? WHY ARE YOU ACTING SPIRITUAL? WAIT OH! CRIS ARE YOU MORE SPIRITUAL THAN ME?”
“No ooo! How can I be more spiritual than God? God forbid!”
“SO WHERE’S MY PET NAME?”
“I don’t have any pet name in mind. I don’t have pet name for you! You are the Lord of the universe. Henceforth, I’ll call you Lord. Because you are the Lord of my life”, I replied.
“THAT’S TOO FORMAL! I WANT SOMETHING INTIMATE AND STIMULATING. SOMETHING THAT MAKES ME SMILE ONCE YOU MENTION IT”.
I was completely shocked by everything that was going on. Am I sure it’s God that is talking like a lover boy or is my mind playing tricks on me?
“SO YOU ARE STILL DOUBTING ME? YOU’RE STILL THINKING IT’S YOUR MIND THAT’S PLAYING TRICKS ON YOU? HA! CRIS KNEEL DOWN!”
I was more confused. Do you mean God was playing like this or what?
“I’M WAITING FOR YOU!”
“Lord I’m sorry!” I replied with a smile on my face.
“WOW! IS THAT MY BABY GIRL SMILING? YOU’RE LOOKING SO BEAUTIFUL! MY PRETTY EBONY!”
Oh my goodness! I was blushing right now. I have heard single ladies call God their boyfriend. I never knew it was real. I was feeling loved and on top of the world. No wonder he’s called a father to the fatherless, mother to the motherless and husband to the single lady.
Chai! Quiet time had never been this sweet before. I’m never going to miss it again.
“SO, DO YOU HAVE A PET NAME FOR ME?”
“Emmmm! Can I call you my Sweet Dad!”
“WHAT?” I heard and felt my stomach vibrating within me.
I could hear him laughing. They vibration in my stomach was so overwhelming. Wait do you mean God laughs? Hmmm! You cannot know all about him in one day. This is strange, but so exciting. I was just smiling like a girl in love.
“Do you like the name?” I asked within me.
“LIKE IS AN UNDERSTATEMENT! I LOVE THE NAME!”
I started giggling.
“MUMMY SUSAN WOULD SOON BE HERE!”
“Really?”
“YES! SHE ONLY WANTS TO CHECK ON YOU!”
“I’m not sure she’s coming. I don’t think anyone is coming here anytime soon!’ I was still trying to agree with that thought when the door flung open and Susan walked in.
I looked at her with a smile on my face. She smiled at me and nodded.
“You’ve started your love gist! Let me not interrupt your nice time”, she said and turned to leave.
“Mummy! I don’t understand! He’s talking to me as if he’s my boyfriend! Can God talk like that?”
“If that’s against his nature then why are you reading the songs of Solomon?”
I was shocked and looked at the bible on my laps. It was closed. So how did she know what I was reading?”
The shock was still on my face when she said,
“Rose of Sharon!”
“Mummy! How did you know what I was reading this morning?”
She smiled and turned to leave.
I stood up and ran after her. I knelt down and held her night gown.
“Mummy please! I need this anointing! I want to carry a double portion of your super powers and abilities!”
I had not finished talking but something told me I was going to be turned down. Actually, not something but my new boyfriend.
To be continued…..
One day in school, I was charging my phone and discovered my phone charger got bad. I was so unhappy because I knew I didn’t have money for a new one.
I was so worried, but daddy told me not to worry that he was going to get me a new charger.
This inner voice asked me how much I had left? I was left with 600 naira. He told me not to worry that I should go to the place where electronic devices were sold.
As I got there, he told me to enter a particular shop. I got there and asked for a charger. The one that was brought was one thousand, five hundred.
I was like, what should I do? He said I should give the lady the money with me and tell her that’s all I have. That was how I left with the charger
I was surprised beyond words. From that day on, I nicknamed him My invisible Daddy!
So what’s your nickname for God?
Abraham called him Jehovah Jireh when he provided a lamb for the burnt offering.
David called him the Lord of hosts, when he faced Goliath.
What about you?
Anyway Sha! By the time I’m done with Cris! She would be shouting grandma Susan.
Tiredness is a thing of the mind
Hmmm! I learnt that from my mentor. Believe me! Once you agree you’re tired. You’ll be tired.
But if you hump out of that blanket and tell yourself,
“Let the weak say I am strong!”
Numbers 14:28 Say unto them, As truly as I live, saith the LORD, as ye have spoken in mine ears, so will I do to you:
INSPIRED BY THE BREAD OF LIFE
WRITTEN BY AYO OMOLAYO
YOUR BROTHER IN CHRIST 🙏
